5 Common Signs of Anger Issues

Anger is a normal human emotion that can be kindled in numerous ways – from a small inconvenience such as being delayed in a traffic queue to unhappiness caused in marriage when partners are not meeting one another’s needs sufficiently. It is not unusual to be angered, and short of anger issues, anger in itself is not necessarily sinful.

In the Bible, the command is “In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV) – meaning that it is assumed that we will get angry, but the aspect that God is concerned with is how we respond when this emotion is provoked in us.

Likewise, just because we feel angry at times, this does not mean that we have anger issues. Signs of anger issues that need to be dealt with are those that are expressed in unhealthy ways that are damaging to those around us and our own mental and spiritual wellbeing.

If you feel that you lack self-control in the instances below, it might be worth exploring Carrollton Christian Counseling to get a better grip on your emotions:

Signs of Anger Issues

You get easily annoyed

Our friends, spouses, parents, other family members, and colleagues are bound to annoy us at times. Chances are, the better you get to know someone, the more you will be exposed to all aspects of their personality, not just the pleasant side.

This can evoke annoyance and frustration, but signs of anger issues can be a constant inability to handle others’ shortcomings. If you are easily annoyed by the many inconveniences of daily life, it is worth asking yourself why you feel so angry – sometimes there can be a deeper source of frustration that needs to be worked through.

Scripture tells us to love one another, and that as Christians we will be known for the love that we have for each other: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7, NIV).

In Ephesians 4:2, we are told to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” – the very opposite characteristics to those exhibited when we allow ourselves to get easily annoyed. If you find that very small comments or issues get you worked up, spend time reflecting on God’s word and ask him to give you the patience you need to not respond with frustration.

Ask Him to help you develop a loving attitude toward the person who irritates you, and you will be amazed at how He answers your prayer. While you are overcoming the frustration, it is worth taking some deep breaths, listening rather than speaking, and also allowing yourself some distance from the person or situation if possible.

Your anger issues give rise to physical symptoms

When we are angry, our adrenaline is triggered, which is a normal part of the body’s fight-or-flight system. Signs of anger issues that go beyond what can be considered “normal anger” could be frequent and intense physical symptoms that accompany the feeling of anger.

If your anger causes you to shake and tingle, and experience chest pains and palpitations, then counseling would be a useful pursuit to manage the symptoms as well as work through what has caused the response.

Once again, it comes down to learning and practicing self-control. In the Bible, we learn that “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28). A city with broken-down walls is open to invasion; in the same way, when we lack self-control, we’re powerless in the face of the emotions that come our way.

Being able to manage the physical symptoms of anger, through deep breathing, counting from one to ten, or reciting a verse of Scripture, is a good first step toward minimizing the outward impact of anger.

You are prone to angry outbursts

The most obvious signs of anger relate to outbursts, either verbal attacks on others, road rage or unintentionally breaking things or hurting people or animals. This unhealthy way of expressing anger will affect those in a close relationship or proximity to you, as they witness this behavior.

The frequency is also important; perhaps a once-a-decade temper tantrum is permissible, but if you are regularly saying and doing things in anger, often with great regret afterward, it is a sign that anger is an issue for you and a therapist can help walk the journey with you toward a more peaceful disposition.

Realizing that you have control over your anger, and not the other way around, is a great starting point. Anger can escalate as a form of mental health disorder involving sudden episodes of aggression and other disruptive behavior, so it is critical to address the issue when you or someone close to you raises it as something to be dealt with.

You live with past regrets

Signs of anger issues that are worth talking through could include a constant frustration with failures from the past. If you are haunted by memories that keep coming up and causing ongoing resentment, engage with a counselor to try to unpack exactly what went wrong and to try and make peace with the outcome.

There is no point in ruining the future by living in the past, but putting the past to one side and just focusing on the present is easier said than done. The healing process will likely involve spending some time identifying the underlying sources of anger, and then learning how to forgive yourself.

You feel a sense of self-hatred

Anger can also be turned inwards instead of being directed at other people, and in this case, it leads to self-hatred, which is usually linked to low self-esteem and depression. If you feel hatred toward yourself, this is one of the signs of anger issues.

In order to move beyond it, you need to work on understanding your identity as a child of God, who has been “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). It might also be important to uncover the source of this negative emotion to make progress toward a place of self-acceptance and peace.

Anger is expressed in many shapes and forms, from loud, in-your-face outbursts to a more passive version where anger is suppressed and comes out in moody silences, cutting remarks, and non-verbal cues. When the significant people in your life are regularly affected by your anger, and you seem unable to get it under control, you know there is a bigger issue at hand. Carrollton Christian Counseling can help you address these deeper issues and work toward lasting emotional healing.

Thankfully, everything that is needed to overcome anger issues is given in the Bible’s wisdom on the subject. It’s about learning how to exhibit self-control, and slowing down so that we actually listen to others rather than just jump to conclusions.

In the book of James, it says: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires (James 1: 19-20, NIV).

We need to be able to take a step back, cool off, and gain some perspective before speaking, whenever our anger is triggered. Luke 6:42 reminds us to “…get rid of the log in your eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye”; as so often we are quick to criticize others without being aware of our shortcomings and faults.

The Bible also calls us to forgive others, and if we truly commit this tough process to God, we will find that we no longer hold on to grudges in anger as we might previously have done. This is all part of God’s amazing sanctification process, as He molds and shapes us into Christlikeness by using the people around us and the things of the world to refine us.