Individual Counseling Archives | Carrollton Christian Counseling

The Power of The Tongue – Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems

The Power of The Tongue – Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems

Jennifer Kooshian2026-06-25T14:16:26+00:00June 25th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is no shortage of wisdom out there in the ether about measuring our words because they are powerful. For instance, we read these words in the book of Proverbs: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4, NIV). Your words can serve as inspiration or encouragement for someone, but they can also destroy a person’s reputation or crush their resolve. Our words are powerful, and how we wield them makes a huge difference in our lives and in the lives of others around us. Recognizing that power and knowing how to use it responsibly and with love can transform your relationships and well-being in profound ways. It can even help you avoid relationship problems. Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems One reason why relationships break down is because of words that are spoken carelessly, without compassion, or with the intention to cause harm. Our words are a window into our thoughts, intentions, and attitudes toward things, which makes our words a valuable commodity. When you speak, you’re sharing a piece of yourself with the other person, and what you share as well as how you share it can affect them significantly. You can, without intending it, offend someone deeply. What you say to them (or about them) can convey that you don’t care about them. Even though you meant no offense, you weren’t cognizant of how your words would affect the other person. When you indicate that you don’t care about the other person, that can break trust, stir up anger, or inspire sadness. This can be worse and cause relationship problems if you do it intentionally. We do live in curious times, but it needs to be said that not every hurtful or offensive thing you say is necessarily harmful. [...]

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Stress Eating: What It Is and How to Combat It

Stress Eating: What It Is and How to Combat It

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-06-17T07:21:51+00:00June 17th, 2026|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Stress eating, also known as emotional eating, is using food to help you cope with difficult emotions, manage stress, or fill a void within you that you don’t know how to fill. It is eating to fill your emotional needs rather than satisfy physical hunger and nourish your body. Stress eating can lead you to overeat and/or binge on high-calorie, sweet, and fatty foods that are detrimental to your health and sabotage weight-loss efforts if you are trying to lose. Key Difference Between Physical and Emotional Hunger Biological need versus emotional discomfort Physical hunger is a natural, biological response to the body’s need for nutrients and fuel to enable it to keep going. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by how you feel rather than by your body’s physical needs and is an attempt to use food to cope with emotional issues, manage stress, soothe, comfort, relax, or numb. Physical sensations versus emotional triggers Physical hunger is an involuntary sensation triggered by a low energy state and the secretion of hunger hormones. Your brain uses physical signs such as a growling stomach, headache, difficulty concentrating, shakiness, lightheadedness, and/or weakness to communicate your body’s need for food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by emotional cues such as stress, sadness, boredom, loneliness, frustration, or even happiness. Gradual versus sudden Physical hunger tends to come on gradually and increase as your body continues to go without food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, presents as an intense desire to eat something immediately, even if you have already eaten and are no longer physically hungry. Can wait, if necessary, versus immediate gratification With physical hunger, you can ignore the initial signs if you are busy with other things. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, demands instant gratification. Open [...]

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Should Christians Trust Eye Movement Therapy and Other Modern Healing Methods?

Should Christians Trust Eye Movement Therapy and Other Modern Healing Methods?

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-06-06T05:25:19+00:00June 8th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

For many Christians, emotional healing is deeply personal. It’s shaped by prayer, scripture, community, and a desire to honor God in every part of life, including mental health. When new types of therapy come along, especially ones that seem unfamiliar or different from what we’re used to, it makes sense to have some questions. Is this something I should try? Is it safe? And more importantly, does this line up with my faith? One approach more people are hearing about these days is eye movement therapy, also called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s used to help people work through trauma, anxiety, and other emotional pain. If you’re a Christian who’s never heard of it before, or if you’ve been warned against anything that sounds non-traditional, you may feel unsure. This article is here to help you look at what eye movement therapy really is, what it’s not, and how Christians can approach new healing methods while still keeping God at the center. What is eye movement therapy? Eye movement therapy isn’t a spiritual trick or mystical practice. It’s a structured form of therapy developed in the late 1980s by a psychologist named Francine Shapiro. The basic idea is that when someone goes through something painful, the brain doesn’t always process the experience in a healthy way. This therapy technique uses simple things like guided eye movements or light tapping to help the brain reprocess those memories. During a session, a trained therapist will guide someone as they recall a difficult memory. At the same time, the therapist will use these movements or sounds to help keep the brain focused and calm. Over time, the memory usually feels less intense, and the person begins to feel more at peace. There’s no hypnosis. No spiritual rituals. No manipulation [...]

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Personal Goals You Can Set and Accomplish for Yourself

Personal Goals You Can Set and Accomplish for Yourself

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-05-07T13:58:34+00:00May 7th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Being able to set goals and get things done helps you achieve the things you want in life. Life can be a long and meandering journey, and you never know where the winds of opportunity will carry you. It’s possible to go through life without pausing to think about what you’re doing and why. Often, however, that results in being dictated to by circumstances and the direction of others who are more intentional. Our lives can unfold in surprising ways, and sometimes we find ourselves in places and circumstances we never dreamed of. Being able to set goals isn’t a substitute for having dreams and being spontaneous. However, it is a way of being more intentional about the resources and opportunities you have. It can help you accomplish a future you desire for yourself. You might be the sort of person who knew what you wanted to be when you were a kid and planned every step of that journey until you accomplished your goal, and that’s generally how you live your life. Or you might be the sort of person who takes things as they come, holding plans loosely. Either way, being able to have and set goals can have its benefits. The Importance of Setting Goals We don’t all approach life in the same way. Some people have a clear path and ideas about what they want to accomplish in life, while others take things as they come, meeting each situation, and then figuring out the next steps. Each approach has its merits, and one can learn from how other people do things. Nonetheless, there are benefits from taking some time to think about what your goals are. When you set goals, it’s one of the ways of setting yourself up for success. The process of setting [...]

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Coping with Grief: Grieving Loss and Finding Your Way

Coping with Grief: Grieving Loss and Finding Your Way

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-04-10T05:47:21+00:00April 10th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grief is a painful reality we all must reckon with. It’s not an easy thing to lose what matters most to you, especially the people in your life, and it’s understandable why many struggle to cope well with grief. Coping with grief doesn’t mean denying the loss or even minimizing it or explaining it away. Coping is about learning to live with the loss, being able to carry on while bearing the wounds of separation from a loved one. Grief touches every aspect of who we are, and that includes our emotions, thoughts, bodies, and our spiritual lives. Grieving is the natural process of coming to terms with loss, and it is not a sign of weak faith. Jesus wept (John 11:35) at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, a testimony to how much He loved His friend. The sorrow of loss is all too real, but our ultimate hope is in Christ, even in our grief. Grief as Love with Nowhere to Go How do you begin to deal with grief and the sense of loss? For some, the only way they can see to deal with it is to see grief as a problem to be solved. In this way of thinking, the loss is something to get over as quickly as possible and return to doing life much the same as before. This can be a way of denying the loss, and it can have negative effects on one’s well-being. Another way to look at grief is to see it as a way of working through the significant change that has occurred in your relationship with your loved one. Instead of being a problem to solve, grief then becomes a way of working through the loss by evolving the relationship. Your connection to a lost loved [...]

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Child Behavioral Therapist: Frequently Asked Questions

Child Behavioral Therapist: Frequently Asked Questions

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-03-18T06:14:30+00:00March 18th, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Child behavioral therapists are trained mental health professionals who specialize in helping children deal with emotional and behavioral challenges to learn how to function more effectively. Their overall goal is to strengthen desired behaviors, reduce or eliminate unwanted ones, and improve the child’s overall well-being. They help equip the child with adaptive coping skills that enable them to handle frustration and difficult situations in a healthy manner. How can I tell if my child is going through a phase or needs professional help? It can sometimes be hard to know if your child’s behavior requires professional intervention or if it is just a phase he or she is going through. Almost all young children act out occasionally. Some level of defiance, temper tantrums, and testing of boundaries is a normal part of child development. This is especially true during the toddlerhood stage when children are going through the process of learning to express themselves, gain independence, and assert their wills. More persistent or severe issues, however, such as trouble making or keeping friends, or causing frequent disruptions at school, may require the know-how of a professional. Some red flags that require immediate attention and should not be ignored include sudden, dramatic mood or personality changes; destructive behavior such as breaking things or setting fires; uncontrollable anger over seemingly trivial issues; physical aggression toward others; mistreating animals; self-harm; or acting in ways that are inappropriate for their age. What can a child behavioral therapist do to help? A child behavioral therapist can help improve your child’s unwanted behaviors by: Pinpointing what triggers them and why. Helping him or her identify and modify negative thought patterns. Equipping him or her with the necessary skills to handle frustrating circumstances appropriately. Teaching him or her to manage his or her emotions in healthy [...]

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Grief is Weird: Unexpected Aspects of the Grieving Process

Grief is Weird: Unexpected Aspects of the Grieving Process

Stephanie Kramer2026-02-27T17:50:37+00:00February 27th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grief comes often and in many forms. It is an avoidable part of life. We grieve over people who have died but also over other losses in life. There is anticipatory grief that occurs when someone is expecting a loss and delayed grief when a person suppresses or postpones their emotional response to loss. One thing that is consistent through all types of grief is the weirdness of it all. What does that mean? Grief is weird because it is an unpredictable nuisance that doesn’t follow a pattern. It doesn’t follow a straightforward, linear process like time or even a movie. One day you can feel intense sorrow and the next day you could be feeling fine. A fresh wave of emotion can come again without warning. Grief is weird because it brings about a lot of conflicting emotions. You might be experiencing sadness, but also relief, anger, guilt or even a sprinkling of joy as you recall happy memories. This complex cocktail of emotions often makes people wonder if they are indeed grieving “correctly” or “normally.” Grief can also cause a feeling of disconnection. Those who are experiencing grief can feel out of sync with the world around them. Even though you have gone through a life changing event, the neighbor is just causally mowing their lawn. This disconnection can cause loneliness and make grief even more intense. Grief is weird because it can be triggered so unexpectedly by things that seem mundane, like a song, a scent, or a passing comment. These seemingly benign things can suddenly evoke strong feelings, catching you off guard. Social expectations around how grief “should” look can add another layer of complexity to an already complex emotion. There may be pressure to “move on” quickly or to grieve in private, which can [...]

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How Shame Can Make Chemical Dependency Worse

How Shame Can Make Chemical Dependency Worse

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-02-23T05:26:20+00:00February 23rd, 2026|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

If you are dealing with chemical dependency, or know someone who is, you will know just how life-altering the struggle can be. There will be moments when it feels as if things could not get any worse, but sobriety often hinges on your mental attitude toward the struggle. Chemical dependency is a complex and often deeply rooted issue. The hook keeping most people from making progress on their journey to getting clean is shame. Shame blocks progress both for those dealing with chemical dependency and those supporting loved ones through it. Many aspects of life are affected and made worse when we feel ashamed of ourselves and our choices, but this feeling is almost always present for addicts and those trying to get clean. As you try to combat feelings of shame and failure, it can feel a lot like you are swimming against the tide. However, because shame is so often a component of addiction, it is possible to conquer both. In fact, it is difficult to get free from chemical dependency without also getting free from the shame you carry. The Chemical Dependency Iceberg Most people only begin to understand chemical dependency when they have personally struggled with substance addiction or know someone who has. It is easy to judge the surface of the issue, where it seems as if people continually make unwise choices until an undesirable lifestyle ensnares them. The same people who judge and shame addicts and alcoholics often have hidden dependencies of their own. Their personal dependencies and addictions might be more socially acceptable or even praiseworthy, such as being a workaholic or fitness addict. Meanwhile, they have developed these habits as ways of coping with deeper issues. There are a variety of reasons that people develop a chemical dependency, and none of these [...]

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A Different Perspective on Emotional Eating

A Different Perspective on Emotional Eating

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-04-29T11:05:00+00:00February 9th, 2026|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

For the past 60 years or more, our society and culture have been fixated on eating habits, body image, beauty standards, and physical health. There have been fluctuating trends through the decades. One thing that has remained consistent is that people have a lot to say about emotional eating, comfort eating, or stress eating. Emotional eating is often regarded as a weakness or even a moral failure, especially when it centers around fast food or sugar-filled diets. Some go as far as to categorize emotional eating along with eating disorders, showing how misinformed they are on the topic. While there are genuine concerns for national obesity and ailing health, people tend to focus on the wrong thing, creating more emotional issues and anxiety in the process. Every emotional eater is motivated by something. Sometimes they can be negative emotions, but other times, they are natural, harmless, and in some cases, positive, human, and beautiful. There is a glorious combination of food, eating, community, and emotions that is at the core of so many of our experiences. Perhaps it is only when we begin to gain a different perspective on emotional eating that we will conquer some of the underlying issues that require more of our focus, like shame, guilt, and despair. A Different Perspective on Emotional Eating On the surface, eating and emotions seem to have little to do with each other. The only things they have in common are that everyone must eat to stay alive and everyone will experience emotions, some more frequently and more deeply than others. A person might ignore, repress, or misinterpret their emotions, but only people with an eating disorder will ignore, repress, or misinterpret their physical appetite. Food and eating are an essential part of all of our lives, beyond the function [...]

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Fighting Depression: Ways to Cope When You’re Feeling Depressed

Fighting Depression: Ways to Cope When You’re Feeling Depressed

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-02-05T06:37:42+00:00February 5th, 2026|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Have you ever heard the expression “You’re your own worst enemy”? You’d think that we always have our own best interests at heart, but that’s not always true. When you’re fighting depression, one of the realities you’ll be confronted with is that your mind can be working against you, and you can be your own worst enemy. It’s important to get the right support and have a clear strategy to deal with depression effectively. When you approach depression as something of a challenge that needs to be managed rather than an enemy that you need to conquer and defeat all at once, you can build effective strategies that promote your resilience and emotional health in the long term. Facing the Key Challenges of Depression As you address depression, an important part of that is to understand what depression is. Depression is a mood disorder, a medical and psychological condition that affects the way you think, feel, and behave in everyday situations. When you struggle to regulate your own emotions and thoughts, you’ll often feel like you’re not yourself. Having depression isn’t a personal weakness or a character flaw. You need to acknowledge that. It’s also important that you educate yourself about how things like your brain chemistry, genetics, stressors, and your environment play a role in depression. By tracking your mood and identifying the triggers that are relevant to you, you can be better prepared to deal with what comes. The key challenges that often come with depression include the fact that you’ll typically experience a loss of energy and motivation. Many people who have gone through depression report feeling tired and unmotivated, to the point where even simple tasks like getting dressed, typing out a message, or meeting a friend for coffee feel overwhelming. Things that once were [...]

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