Relationship Issues Archives | Carrollton Christian Counseling

Progressive Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children

Progressive Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-07-22T06:57:14+00:00July 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Across America, a shift is underway that most parents do not anticipate. They’re working hard to keep their children happy and genuinely believe that they are doing their best. Still, behavioral problems, including defiance at home, struggles in school, and difficulty respecting authority, surface. The parents find themselves confused and exhausted, wondering how their best intentions led to these challenging outcomes. We often find the answer in the parenting philosophy that has shaped American culture for over 50 years. Progressive parenting has emphasized freedom and emotional expression while minimizing structure and boundaries. The result is an environment where children lack the framework they need to develop self-control and emotional regulation. The absence of this intentional training leads to children facing a world without the internal compass needed to make wise choices. Many families face a challenge centered on a message that has defined good parenting as prioritizing a child’s emotional expression at the expense of necessary boundaries. Biblical wisdom serves us well in these situations: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV The Progressive Parenting Movement and Its Promises The psychological mainstream started in the 1960s and made a dramatic claim that reshaped parenting for generations. This claim from mental health professionals emphasizes that parents who don’t allow children to express their feelings freely create an avenue for mental health problems for their children. Society began to define it as understanding and appropriately responding to all emotional expressions. This suggested a promise that children raised with maximum freedom and minimal boundaries would grow into confident, emotionally healthy adults with strong self-esteem. This approach led parents to believe that structure and discipline could damage their children’s psyches, and that unlimited emotional support [...]

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The Power of The Tongue – Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems

The Power of The Tongue – Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems

Jennifer Kooshian2026-06-25T14:16:26+00:00June 25th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is no shortage of wisdom out there in the ether about measuring our words because they are powerful. For instance, we read these words in the book of Proverbs: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4, NIV). Your words can serve as inspiration or encouragement for someone, but they can also destroy a person’s reputation or crush their resolve. Our words are powerful, and how we wield them makes a huge difference in our lives and in the lives of others around us. Recognizing that power and knowing how to use it responsibly and with love can transform your relationships and well-being in profound ways. It can even help you avoid relationship problems. Hurtful Words and Relationship Problems One reason why relationships break down is because of words that are spoken carelessly, without compassion, or with the intention to cause harm. Our words are a window into our thoughts, intentions, and attitudes toward things, which makes our words a valuable commodity. When you speak, you’re sharing a piece of yourself with the other person, and what you share as well as how you share it can affect them significantly. You can, without intending it, offend someone deeply. What you say to them (or about them) can convey that you don’t care about them. Even though you meant no offense, you weren’t cognizant of how your words would affect the other person. When you indicate that you don’t care about the other person, that can break trust, stir up anger, or inspire sadness. This can be worse and cause relationship problems if you do it intentionally. We do live in curious times, but it needs to be said that not every hurtful or offensive thing you say is necessarily harmful. [...]

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How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-09-24T06:43:56+00:00September 24th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most people crave friendships. Even the most introverted among us has a certain degree of God given desire for social connection. God made us social creatures for a reason. He created Eve when He recognized Adam’s social need. God brought us back into fellowship with Him when He saw the sin-induced divide. So, having people in your life is important and necessary for fellowship, mission work, and overall life satisfaction. If you’re craving relationships, there are a lot of ways to find those social connections, even if you’re socially awkward or suffer from social anxiety. Even if you have a shy personality or have been criticized publicly. Even if toxic friendships have made you afraid to trust others again. And even if you’re at a stage in your life where you are physically unable to socialize in the ways you always have. Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety Whatever the reason for your isolation, it can be difficult to reach out to others when your insides are a jumbled-up mess of nerves, doubt, fear, hurt, and self-doubt. But there is hope. You can overcome those obstacles that prevent authentic connections and live a whole, fulfilling social life. You can be a part of a dynamic duo or be a main character in a friend group. You can find people who will support you in your endeavors and cry with you in your defeats. But first, you might have to put in a little work to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of those authentic and meaningful connections. Get therapy Therapy can help you not only understand but also untangle the things that are standing in the way of quality relationships in your life. Sometimes what you need is someone trained to walk with you through the fear, trauma, and [...]

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Hoarding and Family Obligations

Hoarding and Family Obligations

Stephanie Kramer2025-11-01T12:11:15+00:00July 29th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Your eye can’t help but focus in on that orange vase your sister-in-law gave for your wedding. The bright color makes it a beacon to anyone who enters the family room. The glass glistens in the sunlight and casts a bright stream of orange across your otherwise neutral-colored living space. You grimace a little at the eyesore, resent your sister-in-law a little for thrusting her décor preferences on you, and feel a little guilty for feeling this way. This is only one example of how family obligation can result in the keeping of excessive possessions. But there are many more ways that family loyalty, or should I say forced obligation, can snowball into a problematic, cluttered environment. The Frog Story Therapists are privileged to walk alongside many families as they deal with death and ensuing grief. Even in these dark seasons, there are humorous moments, just like the story I am about to tell you. Patti sat across from her therapist as she unpacked the emotions surrounding her mother’s recent death. She spoke about cleaning out her mother’s home and how she and her siblings were being fair about dividing her possessions. “Everyone got the frog collectibles that they gave to mom returned to them,” she said. “Except for the frog toilet seat. No one wanted that,” she smiled. “Toilet seat in the shape of a frog?” her therapist asked, seeking clarity. “Yes,” she said with a smile. Patti went on to explain that her mother had an extensive frog collection that spanned every room of her house. “And the funny part is,” Patti continued, “my mom really didn’t like frogs.” Patti’s mom had received a frog figurine as a joke twenty years ago. Not knowing if the giver had been serious or if it was meant to be [...]

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When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-07-23T06:18:26+00:00July 23rd, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are important. They are part of God’s plan. He made us social creatures. In Genesis, we find that God didn’t want Adam to be alone, so He created Eve. The Bible is full of stories of how God has provided people to do his work and to love His followers. So, when you long for relationships, it’s not unusual – it’s part of God’s plan. But if you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADHD), you may be struggling in your relationships. It’s one thing to desire deep, meaningful, and mutually beneficial relationships, and it’s a whole other thing to make and preserve them. ADHD Relationship Obstacles If you have ADHD, you’re probably already familiar with some of the obstacles that this disorder presents when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You’re probably acutely aware of the fact that you interrupt people when they’re talking or that you have a hard time focusing on a conversation. You probably cringe when you think about the time that you were pacing the floor acting disinterested in a conversation. But your mind and your body often follow the directions of ADHD rather than social norms. A romantic relationship adds a whole other layer of confusion and misunderstanding. You might be in a fully committed, loving relationship, ready to make a life together, but if your partner doesn’t understand your ADHD, you might not be perceiving the relationship in the same way. When you forget something they just said or lose track of the task that you promised to handle, it can feel to them like you’re careless or indifferent or even worse, that you simply don’t prioritize them or their needs. If they don’t understand that your brain works just a little differently, they may interpret your actions as lazy, [...]

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5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-05-22T07:08:50+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are a part of life, but why? If we have learned anything during the pandemic, it has been that although isolation is necessary for particular seasons of our lives, we thrive when we are part of a social circle. This circle can include your spouse, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, or the friendly mail delivery carrier. You choose the people and how much access they have to your life. Knowing the five relationship types and how you can strengthen those bonds can serve you well in every area of life. Why Relationships are Necessary Positive relationships are necessary for the formation of social skills and happiness. Different types of relationships fulfill various needs throughout life and can result in better emotional and mental health. Not feeling alone, even when you are struggling, is crucial to avoiding specific mental condition symptoms such as depression. Relationships, even the hard and toxic ones, help build emotional resilience. Resiliency will help you overcome challenges throughout life and move forward instead of staying “stuck,” reliving hurt, disappointment, or trauma. Relationships provide a support system and other people to share your burdens. When going through something challenging, you want people who love and care about you to help stand in the gap. Relationships allow you to support others and be a blessing when they need it. As relationships form early, those bonds may shape the person you become. But remember, even if your relationships throughout childhood were tumultuous, you have the resources to lead a different life. You can choose to surround yourself with people who can push you to learn more, think differently, and act appropriately. The relationships you choose later in life can either bless you or harm you. Not every relationship needs to be a close, intimate one to benefit you. Building [...]

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Avoidance Anxiety and How It Affects Relationships

Avoidance Anxiety and How It Affects Relationships

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-11-01T12:15:37+00:00May 9th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There’s something about unpleasant experiences that just shouts, “Don’t do this again!”. We instinctively tend to avoid unsavory things to save ourselves time and effort and to preserve our peace of mind. For example, if you have a bad experience at an eating establishment, you’re unlikely to patronize it again. It can be scary getting into a car again after an accident or it may feel uncomfortable walking where you were mugged. We tend to avoid the unpleasant, or what reminds us of unpleasant experiences. This can be advantageous, for the reasons already mentioned. However, it can also have a downside. There are situations in which it is necessary to face unpleasant things for another, bigger purpose. You may not enjoy public speaking, for example, but it enables you to effectively communicate your ideas to more people. In key instances in life, it may be necessary to face the things that make you anxious or that you ordinarily try to avoid. Understanding avoidance anxiety and its impact on your life can help you take steps to deal with this anxiety and reclaim your freedom and ability to enter diverse situations unhindered by fear. Avoidance Anxiety Unpacked We all have moments or situations that make us anxious. Perhaps it is dinner with your family, talking or eating in public, going to a social event, a first date or job interview, driving, addressing conflict, or any number of other circumstances. When you feel anxious, your body reacts by activating your fight-flight-freeze response. This is one of the ways your body prepares you to act in ways that protect you and your well-being. Anxiety doesn’t feel pleasant. It includes signs such as a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, racing thoughts and restlessness, and even feelings of dread. When you’re anxious, it can feel [...]

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Different Attachment Styles and How They Impact Your Relationships

Different Attachment Styles and How They Impact Your Relationships

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T12:08:17+00:00April 25th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the great things about good stories is how they can surprise you. You may have thought that a story was going to go one way, and then things take a surprising turn into new territory, sweeping you along with it. Our lives are often like that – where your story is now and has been in the past doesn’t mean there aren’t still surprises ahead. It means that when all is said and done, our story may look vastly different than it does now. This can be incredible news, especially if your story up till now isn’t what you want or wanted for yourself. If you’re struggling in your relationships with others and find yourself falling into the same unhealthy patterns of relating to them, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. By learning your own patterns, where they come from, and how they affect you, you can begin growing and developing new ways of doing things. Attachment Styles – What Are Those? You may or may not have encountered the term ‘attachment style’ before. It refers to how we form and maintain our relationships with other people. Each person has a distinct and predominant style regarding how they relate to others. That’s one reason you can often see patterns across different relationships – one of the common denominators in those scenarios is you and how you do things. A person’s attachment style is usually based on or develops according to the pattern of our earliest interactions with the people in our lives. These people include parents or caregivers, who have the most to do with a child and their well-being in their early years. How you and your caregiver interact can influence you immensely because that is where you first learn how things work, and that’s [...]

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What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-17T11:26:37+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable if they somehow do something to help that person “change” their behavior or that uncomfortable anger or sadness. In looking into a codependent [...]

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Advice for Newlyweds in Carrollton: Embrace Independence

Advice for Newlyweds in Carrollton: Embrace Independence

Stephanie Kramer2025-03-26T10:13:26+00:00March 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Looking for advice for newlyweds in Carrollton, Texas? This may seem counterintuitive, but it works. If marriage is all about unity and becoming one with your partner, why would any sensible therapist tell you to embrace independence? While being a Christian couple in Carrollton means unifying and becoming one in Christ through marriage, it does not mean you should completely abandon the unique individual God made you to be. It’s important to create personal space and maintain a degree of separation from your partner. In the Bible, the concept of a married couple becoming “one” is introduced in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This phrase is significant and is echoed throughout Scripture including in the New Testament by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and by Paul in Ephesians 5:31. The most immediate and literal meaning is the physical and sexual union between husband and wife. In marriage, couples join together in an intimate relationship that is both exclusive and binding. But beyond the physical aspect, becoming “one flesh” also signifies emotional and spiritual unity. Marriage is intended to be a deep and loving relationship where individuals support and understand each other on a profound level. Furthermore, in becoming “one flesh” the couple develops a shared identity and purpose. They are no longer two separate individuals but are united in their common goals, values, and direction in life. This unity does not erase individuality but rather complements and enhances it. In Ephesians 5:31-32, Paul draws a parallel between the union of husband and wife and the relationship between Christ and the Church. The marital relationship is intended to reflect the sacrificial love, unity, and commitment that Christ has for His Church. As Christians, [...]

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