Grief Counseling

Grief comes often and in many forms. It is an avoidable part of life. We grieve over people who have died but also over other losses in life. There is anticipatory grief that occurs when someone is expecting a loss and delayed grief when a person suppresses or postpones their emotional response to loss. One thing that is consistent through all types of grief is the weirdness of it all. What does that mean? Grief is weird because it is an unpredictable nuisance that doesn’t follow a pattern. It doesn’t follow a straightforward, linear process like time or even a movie. One day you can feel intense sorrow and the next day you could be feeling fine. A fresh wave of emotion can come again without warning. Grief is weird because it brings about a lot of conflicting emotions. You might be experiencing sadness, but also relief, anger, guilt or even a sprinkling of joy as you recall happy memories. This complex cocktail of emotions often makes people wonder if they are indeed grieving “correctly” or “normally.” Grief can also cause a feeling of disconnection. Those who are experiencing grief can feel out of sync with the world around them. Even though you have gone through a life changing event, the neighbor is just causally mowing their lawn. This disconnection can cause loneliness and make grief even more intense. Grief is weird because it can be triggered so unexpectedly by things that seem mundane, like a song, a scent, or a passing comment. These seemingly benign things can suddenly evoke strong feelings, catching you off guard. Social expectations around how grief “should” look can add another layer of complexity to an already complex emotion. There may be pressure to “move on” quickly or to grieve in private, which can [...]

Complicated grief is what people can experience when their painful feelings of loss after a death do not diminish over time. Emotions are so intense that they are not able to recover and readjust to day-to-day life, even if more than a year has passed since the loss occurred. Complicated grief is also called prolonged grief or persistent complex bereavement disorder. The difference between complicated and normal grief Normal or uncomplicated grief describes the typical feelings a person has in the first weeks and months after a loss. Crying, missing the deceased, feeling angry or overwhelmed, depressed, and thinking “If only..” are some examples of normal reactions to loss. Over time, these feelings become less intense (though there may still be instances of acute grief and longing) as the person begins to accept the loss and rebuild his life again, reintegrating into society. Carrollton Christian Counseling can support individuals through this process. Complicated grief, however, is a debilitating condition where a person cannot function properly in everyday life. Types of complicated grief Three types of complicated grief have been suggested by researchers, including chronic grief, delayed grief, and absent grief. Chronic grief is grief that is intense and prolonged and does not ease over time. In severe cases, it can lead to thoughts of suicide or attempts to take one’s own life. Delayed grief is grief that is only felt long after the loss of the loved one. In this case, grief may have been postponed due to feeling numb, in shock, overwhelmed, or even busy. If a person feels that she is not able to grieve openly due to perceived societal pressures. For example, after a miscarriage, a woman might suppress her feelings which later may cause delayed grief to emerge. Sometimes the onset of grief after some [...]