Teen Issues: Coming Meaningfully Alongside Your Teenager

Being young is often associated with being carefree and happy. If you look at commercials, social media, and much of our art, it is a celebration of youth and the vitality associated with it. Young people are also valorized as harbingers of the future, and as the ones who hold their elders’ feet to the fire about pressing issues that will affect them in the future. All that may be true enough, but it doesn’t tell the whole story, at least as it relates to teens and teen issues.

If you have a teen in your life, you’ve likely experienced the vitality and vibrancy of having a young adult living in your home. But you’ve probably also experienced a variety of other emotions too, as your teen comes to terms with getting older and making their way in the world. If you are a parent or a caregiver to a teen, it may be helpful to know how to meaningfully come alongside your teen in this season of their lives.

The teen years are complicated by teen issues.

Whatever else they may be, the teen years are complicated. For one thing, a teen is located somewhere between being a young child and an adult. They may not need the same level of guidance as when they were younger, but they can’t handle the responsibility of making adult decisions either. This can be a source of tension in the home as both the teen and their parent figure out the new rules of engagement.

Teen issues come in many flavors, including some of the following:

Changes in their body.

As puberty hits, one’s body changes. It can be quite bewildering to know your own body as being one thing for a decade or more, and then for it to begin quite suddenly doing different things than it’s always done before.

How would you as an adult deal with suddenly sprouting a third arm? Older people can forget just how strange it is to go through puberty, suddenly growing hair everywhere, one’s voice deepening, growing breasts, and having raging hormones to deal with.

As their body changes, they may no longer feel at home in it. They may experience changes in their appetite and sleep patterns. That can affect their overall well-being, and some teens can face challenges with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders, among other challenges.

Social changes.

Even as one’s body changes, there are massive social changes afoot. Relationships and dating have become a thing that now needs to be navigated, and that makes peer relationships more complex than ever before. During the teen years, there may be upheavals in how people relate to one another, and peer pressure is a significant factor in how one acts and relates to others and themselves.

Some of these social changes include how one relates to others sexually, and peers who are experimenting with recreational and other drugs, as well as alcohol. The values your teen has grown up with may be tested as they encounter new social situations in which there is enormous pressure to conform or find themselves on the outs with their peer group. It is an important time in identity formation.

Looking to the future.

Many teens find themselves under enormous pressure as they look ahead to their future. They are beginning to consider what they’ll do for college, which can put them under pressure to excel in school, and to take on activities that will help their college resume shine.

Additionally, they may also want to do well in sports or another extra-curricular activity as that can help them get a better sense of self. All this may mean huge amounts of stress in their young lives.

The teen years can be bewildering, with enormous pressures that need to be wisely dealt with. Wisdom can be obtained by trying and failing, but it can also be imparted, and that is one of the roles a parent or caregiver can occupy for their teen at this time.

Ways to come alongside your teen.

For many teens and adolescents, their parents may appear embarrassing, and that is something one must take in stride. What matters is being a consistent, supportive, and wise presence in the life of your child. They may not appreciate it now, but that does not diminish its value. You can come alongside your teen meaningfully in the following ways:

Being available to listen.

Keep your door open and listen with empathy and without judgment when your teen speaks with you.

Create space for their well-being.

Where possible, help them to eat healthily. Keep fresh fruit around and serve healthy balanced meals to them. Have time to exercise as a family and to be together, whether at the dinner table or a weekly game night. Explore the outdoors together. Encourage consistent bedtimes and have limits on electronic devices as well as on social media, which can have a huge negative impact on one’s body image.

Seek help for teen issues.

If you’re struggling with your parenting, seek the help of a counselor to walk alongside you. Additionally, if your child is struggling and isn’t thriving, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, you can also seek help from a medical professional.

Some changes may occur simply as part of the process of growing older, but some changes may require further investigation as they may be physiological or related to mental and emotional health concerns such as depression or anxiety.

Seeking help for your child from a professional is a tool in your parenting toolkit, and you should make use of it.