Who we become is a subtotal of our daily habits. How we choose to live our lives and define who we are is determined by those things we do almost automatically. Habits can be defined as behavior acquired through repetition and happen subconsciously, meaning we do not put any thought into it.
Most times we are not aware of what it is we are doing or how it is contributing to our welfare and our lives in general. For us to recognize the power that habits have on our lives, we need to clarify for ourselves which ones we have and whether they are serving us.
Carl Jung is quoted to have said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” In this statement, he makes the point that habits influence our lives. This influence can either be negative or positive. The hope is that if we are conscious of our them, we give ourselves the ability to continue with those that serve us and whom we want to become and start letting go of those that are distracting.
How do habits form?
In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear says, “Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.”
Our habits are formed and reinforced by what we choose to do each day. The formation of habits is a three-step process according to the Power of Habit, as described by Charles Duhigg (2012). A habit is etched in our neuropathways due to this three-step process called the habit loop. It starts with a cue, then a routine, and finally a reward. Below is a simpler explanation of how this works:
Cue
This is the first part of habit formation. A cue is a trigger that prompts us into a certain behavior without even thinking. For example, a cue can be an alarm you set to help you wake up in the morning.
Routine
Routine is the behavior that responds to the cue. Using the same example of the alarm, the behavior, in this case, would be waking up and starting the day.
Reward
The reward is usually what sustains behavior. The reward in the above case could be the feeling of accomplishment one feels when one wakes up early. For example, if they define themselves as part of the 5:00 a.m. club.
Armed with this knowledge, we can use it to continue the habits we want to maintain or use to overcome the ones that are hindering our progress.
How habits impact our lives
Our habits have a tremendous impact on our lives. As we do those small seemingly automatic things, we are building our tomorrow, we are building who we are to become in the future. This is why we need to learn our habits and harness their power for our benefit. Below are some ways in which they can impact our lives:
Build structure
Structure for many of us brings a sense of security. With security comes reduced anxiety and stress.
Boost mental and physical health
Our mental and physical health results from those things we do repeatedly and consistently. Meditation and exercising, for example, need to be done regularly to work well. If these routines become our habits, our health is improved exponentially.
Shape identity
We are what we repeatedly do. If we are working to be a writer, developing the habit of writing, even when we do not feel like it guarantees that we become the person we want to be.
Build self-confidence
Our self-esteem is boosted when we set to do a task and we succeed. All the goals we set for ourselves are achieved through good habits and in turn, our confidence is built. We can trust ourselves to deliver.
Improve productivity
Habits guard against distractions. We reach our goals when we stick to the routine we have and stick to the good habits we have developed.
Grow self-discipline
Unlike other things we are forced to do in life, habits are choices we make. When we keep to our routines or take steps to get rid of bad habits, our sense of self-discipline is reinforced.
Help relationships
Having good habits aids in building and maintaining relationships. Those with good habits are seen as trustworthy and reliable.
When you need help
Whether you need help to understand your habits and how they are affecting your life, or you want to kick a habit that has become detrimental, the counselors at Carrollton Christian Counseling are here to help. Carrollton Chrisitan Counseling has licensed counselors who will help you through this process. Contact us today to set up an appointment.
“White Flowers”, Courtesy of Jeena Paradies, Unsplash.com, CC0 License;
Joanna Kucherera: AuthorHi there! I am Joanna Kucherera, a Writer, Speaker, and Trainer with a passion for mental health awareness, relationships, and family counseling. I hold an Honours degree in Psychology from The University of Zimbabwe. Beyond my professional endeav...
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