6 Examples of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

Relationships of all sorts such as romantic couplings, a parent and child, or between siblings, can be various shades of healthy and unhealthy. When human relationships are at their best, their beauty shines through even in sorrow at the loss of a loved one. However, when a relationship is unhealthy or at its worst, such as when emotional abuse is present, even the moments of joy in the relationship can taste like ash.

People can relate to one another in familiar but toxic patterns that may be obvious to people other than them because familiarity blinds them to what’s happening. By providing examples, it may highlight behaviors from others or that you engage in yourself that may constitute emotional abuse and that needs to be addressed.

What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse refers to a range of nonphysical behaviors that are aimed at punishing, controlling, demeaning, ignoring, or isolating another person. An emotionally abusive person may manipulate another using fear, humiliation, and other tactics to get what they want. It can happen in any kind of relationship, such as between parents and children, employers and their workers, and romantic partners.

When a person emotionally abuses another, a person may simply be reenacting patterns of behavior that they learned in other formative relationships. However, just because it’s unintentional, that doesn’t reduce the harm caused, and emotional abuse needs to be addressed.

Signs and examples

There are some signs that you should look for that point to emotional abuse. Often, the person that experiences it feels tired or depressed after interactions with the abuser. A person’s sense of confidence may suffer, and they may begin pulling away from other relationships.

Some examples of emotional abuse include:

Gaslighting

This is when a person manipulates their counterpart into distrusting their judgment, memory, or reality.

Humiliation

This can happen alone or in the presence of others. It includes calling someone names, making jokes at their expense, making them perform degrading acts, or constantly criticizing them.

Emotional blackmail

This is when a person threatens to withhold something unless the other yields to them. A parent may withhold affection or ignore their child unless a child complies. One spouse may withhold sex to get what they want. Emotional abuse may also look like someone making threats to force someone else to go out with them or to stay with them.

Controlling resources and property

This includes withholding money that may be needed for food or medical treatment or going through another’s possessions. An emotional abuser may hold their victim’s phone or pet hostage to make them comply.

Blaming and threatening

Emotional abuse also looks like blaming another person, like a parent blaming their child for their current circumstances. Threatening, shouting at, or insulting a person is another form of emotional abuse.

Exposure and neglect

Emotional abuse can also take the form of exposing someone like a child to upsetting events such as drug-taking or domestic abuse. Neglecting a child may include not meeting emotional, social, and physical needs. Unnecessarily isolating them from friends can also be a form of emotional abuse. Spouses and friends may also abuse their counterparts in similar ways.

Dealing with emotional abuse in a relationship

No relationship ought to be defined by emotionally abusive behaviors. The good news is that it’s possible to deal with these behaviors, and some relationships can be restored and become healthy.

It’s important to name emotional abuse, even if just for yourself in those situations where it may not be safe to approach the abuser to confront them about their behavior. What helps in every instance, in those where one’s safety is a concern or not, is to rely on a support network. This network can consist of friends, coworkers, your family, or a counselor.

Emotional abuse takes a heavy toll. It’s important to rebuild your sense of self-worth and work on any anger or resentment issues. Counseling helps you work through the wounds you have received in the relationship and helps you heal so that you can remain open to future relationships with others.

If you’ve acted in emotionally abusive ways toward others, you can unpack that with a counselor in a safe and non-judgmental space. It’s possible to understand the root of those behaviors and replace them with healthier ways of relating to others. Whether you’ve suffered or demonstrated emotional abuse, reach out to talk with someone at Carrollton Christian Counseling in Texas today.