5 Ways to Help Your Partner Overcome Compulsive Buying

Popular media depicts many examples of compulsive shoppers; typically young, easygoing men and women obsessed with the latest clothes, jewelry, shoes, and bags. The sad truth is that compulsive buying is a disorder that can affect even the most unlikely people. You may even be surprised to discover that your partner is a compulsive shopper right under your nose.

Unlike most addictions, compulsive buying may be easier to hide and easier to dismiss than other disorders. After all, the reason we fight to cure our loved ones from other addictions like drug, alcohol, sexual, or gambling addictions is that they openly hurt sufferers in obvious ways.

Buying too much stuff doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?

How compulsive buying can harm your relationship

While it may be normal to give in to the occasional impulse to shop, it becomes a problem when some glaringly negative changes in someone’s spending habits appear. Just like any other addiction, compulsive shopping can become harmful, especially for relationships.

Compulsive buying can be damaging if:

• It strains the family budget.
• It hinders paying bills on time.
• They open new credit accounts to allow for more shopping.
• They keep the excessive purchases secret.
• They prefer to shop over facing real emotions like anger, sadness, or loneliness.
• It alienates friends and family because they are preoccupied with shopping.

Countless studies have noted that financial problems rank as one of the top causes of divorce, so it is important to help each other recognize this addiction in one of you before it destroys the fabric of your relationship.

If you think your loved one is showing these telltale signs of compulsive buying or shopping addiction, you need to acknowledge it and start working toward getting them help.

How to help your partner

Give constant positive encouragement

Point out things about your partner that boost their self-esteem and make them realize that their self-worth is not related to the stuff they buy. Even if you need to give advice, do it constructively.

Create a healthy spending plan

Compulsive buying is an impulse control disorder, so help limit access to funds or credit cards. Maybe you can agree to allow them access to a monthly allowance.

Encourage self-reflection

Gently push your partner to explore what triggers their urge to shop. A good practice is for them to start writing things down to note what they are feeling. Setting guidelines to stick to like a simple shopping list each time they shop can help them stop and think about whether that item is needed.

Get them into support groups like Debtors Anonymous

This is an increasingly popular 12-step program that supports people prone to compulsive buying in a group of their peers. They may get a sponsor to help them be accountable and learn how others have healed or made amends for their hurtful actions toward their loved ones.

Consider professional help

You do not have to let yourself and your partner face the challenges of this disorder alone. You may want to get outside help for both of you to make sure you are healing and not enabling the compulsion.

Brows our online counseling directory to find support so you can start having financial freedom in a healthy relationship. Contact us today at Carrollton Christian Counseling in Texas to schedule an appointment.