Hoarding and Family Obligations
Your eye can’t help but focus in on that orange vase your sister-in-law gave for your wedding. The bright color makes it a beacon to anyone who enters the family room. The glass glistens in the sunlight and casts a bright stream of orange across your otherwise neutral-colored living space. You grimace a little at the eyesore, resent your sister-in-law a little for thrusting her décor preferences on you, and feel a little guilty for feeling this way. This is only one example of how family obligation can result in the keeping of excessive possessions. But there are many more ways that family loyalty, or should I say forced obligation, can snowball into a problematic, cluttered environment. The Frog Story Therapists are privileged to walk alongside many families as they deal with death and ensuing grief. Even in these dark seasons, there are humorous moments, just like the story I am about to tell you. Patti sat across from her therapist as she unpacked the emotions surrounding her mother’s recent death. She spoke about cleaning out her mother’s home and how she and her siblings were being fair about dividing her possessions. “Everyone got the frog collectibles that they gave to mom returned to them,” she said. “Except for the frog toilet seat. No one wanted that,” she smiled. “Toilet seat in the shape of a frog?” her therapist asked, seeking clarity. “Yes,” she said with a smile. Patti went on to explain that her mother had an extensive frog collection that spanned every room of her house. “And the funny part is,” Patti continued, “my mom really didn’t like frogs.” Patti’s mom had received a frog figurine as a joke twenty years ago. Not knowing if the giver had been serious or if it was meant to be [...]
