How to Get Through the Pain of Rejection

When someone leaves you for someone or something else the pain of rejection can be terrifying. It can feel like you have to live with the awareness that you have been replaced in addition to the loss, hurt, and emptiness you are experiencing. The message in your mind screams: You are no longer good enough. There is someone better.

The initial weeks after someone’s departure can be incredibly difficult. In response, people stop eating, stop sleeping, cry, withdraw, and generally feel as if everything is falling apart. Sometimes things feel removed, out of this world, like a character in a play. Disbelief and denial are present.

Frequently, one of the hardest things is going to sleep. Agonizing sorrow crosses the mind. The ideas don’t stop. When sleep does come, it often comes in fits. The morning after awakening is no better. The suffering begins all over again with each new day.

Rejection.

Pushing someone or anything away is a definition of rejection. Rejection from one’s birth family, a friend, or a romantic partner can happen, and the ensuing emotions are frequently traumatic.

In daily life, it can be felt in significant or minor ways. Even while rejection is frequently a part of life, some kinds of rejection might be harder to handle than others. The rejection of a spouse, for example, is especially difficult because of the intimacy of the marriage relationship. Even a strained marriage is founded on intimacy. Rejection from a parent is particularly difficult as well since this is a formative relationship in a child’s life.

Being aware of rejection.

There are several situations where rejection can happen, but it typically refers to a situation in which someone or something is pushed aside or out. For instance, someone might reject or refuse to accept a present. Rejection in relationships, however, has a far deeper impact.

Rejection is most often used in the context of mental health treatment to describe the sentiments of loss, sadness, or guilt that result from not being accepted by others. After a significant other ends a relationship, a person could feel rejected. When a child has few or no friends, they could feel excluded by their peers. An individual who was abandoned and later put up for adoption could also feel rejected.

Rejection can also be the outcome of life experiences that have nothing to do with romantic relationships, such as being passed over for a job you wanted or getting a rejection letter from college. Even while rejection hurts, some rejections could be more hurtful than others. Being rejected can generate bad sensations and emotions because the majority of people need social interaction and acceptance from society.

Fear of rejection.

The sensation of rejection is thought to have evolved as a survival mechanism to warn early people who might lose their place in their community. A person was likely to change any harmful conduct after experiencing painful rejection from other tribe members to prevent further rejection or ostracism from the group.

The likelihood of survival was higher for those who were able to prevent more rejection, whereas the likelihood of survival was lower for those who did not find rejection to be particularly painful and may not have changed the problematic behavior. In this way, humans may have evolved to find rejection painful.

These days, a lot of people isolate themselves or avoid making connections with others out of fear of being turned away. Chronic emotions of loneliness and sadness can result from a person withdrawing from others out of fear of or sensitivity to rejection.

Rejection is not a recognized diagnosis, even though rejection sensitivity can co-occur with a variety of mental health conditions, such as social anxiety, avoidant personality, and borderline personality.

Rejection’s aftermath.

Long-term rejection may have profound psychological impacts that last a lifetime, such as:

Trauma: Rejection that lasts for a long time or that causes intense sensations can cause trauma and have negative psychological effects. Children who feel rejected by their parents, for instance, may struggle academically and socially with their classmates. Some people endure a persistent dread of rejection, frequently as a result of several traumatic rejection experiences throughout infancy.

Depression: Teenage girls who endure rejection are more likely to develop despair; nevertheless, all individuals who encounter rejection may also experience depression. Bullying, which is simply a mix of exclusion and rejection, can also have a variety of detrimental impacts, such as depression, stress, eating disorders, and self-harming behaviors.

According to research, the brain reacts to social pain in a manner that is comparable to how it reacts to physical pain. According to a study, social pain, or rejection, activates the same brain circuits that physical pain does. When someone suffers social pain, just like when someone experiences physical pain, receptor systems in the brain also release natural responses that act as painkillers.

Stress and Anxiety: Rejection may exacerbate pre-existing symptoms like stress and anxiety or cause their onset. Similarly, these and other mental health issues can heighten rejection feelings.

Romantic rejection can be extremely difficult, especially for those who want a long-term commitment. When a love relationship ends or you are rejected by a partner, you may experience intense grief that lasts for weeks, months, or even years. Long after a romantic relationship has ended, rejection can change how a person sees their life and themselves.

Recovery

How can one move past the excruciating anguish of being turned down in one of life’s most crucial situations? Here are seven steps that could aid in your recovery from the devastating effects of rejection.

1. Observe your emotions.

Permit yourself to feel them. Don’t make an effort to avoid them or push them away. Bring them in. Sense them. Release them. Despite your fears that they won’t stop, keep in mind that things will improve. No matter how long we cry, the tears eventually cease.

2. Recognize that you will experience the stages of sorrow.

Losing a relationship is like death. It’s common to experience emotions including shock, anger, hurt, bargaining, grief, fear, and depression. The pain can become even more challenging when a partner departs for someone else.

Even when there is a loss, the individual is still present. They deliberately chose to depart. Recognize your emotions, write about them in a notebook, and try to ease them. Counseling is particularly helpful in this process.

3. Consider your suffering as a wave.

There will be times when you forget about it for a moment, and then it will hit you again. It will hold you tighter if you try to fight the emotion and push it away. Consider jumping into the emotional wave. Allow it to arrive, pay attention to it, and let it wash over you. Then release it.

4. Gather the people who will be there for you.

You might want to isolate yourself. You might not have much vigor for others. Maybe you feel like you should just stay in bed. Instead, make an effort to help others. Allow others to support you. Let them hear what you are feeling. You might get the chance to do the same for them one day. Let them offer solace.

5. Stop blaming yourself.

It’s normal to place the responsibility on your shoulders and wonder what went wrong or why you fell short. Remember that there are two people involved in every relationship. The blame does not rest solely on your shoulders. Partners split up for a variety of reasons. Perhaps their baggage plays a bigger role in it than what happened in your relationship.

6. Self-care is advisable.

Eat healthfully and try to get adequate sleep. Go on a walk. Exercises that promote relaxation include prayer, meditation, and relaxation techniques. This is a time to rediscover who you are without that person. Take care of yourself. Spend time with those that care about you. A healthy body and mind will help you move beyond the pain you feel.

7. Find a helpful therapist.

It takes time, support, and patience to rehabilitate after a partner departs. Consider speaking with a therapist if you’re having trouble coping with the death of a companion. We are here to assist you to get through difficult times like this and will support you in getting over the hurt of rejection.