Abandonment and Neglect

9 Different Ways People Feel Abandoned

, 2025-04-03T05:40:32+00:00April 3rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment looks different from person to person. People frequently second-guess themselves. They might question if their perception of events. Likewise, they may feel as if they are overly sensitive when others who experienced the same event were not affected in the same way. Sometimes it is the events that seem to be so ordinary and commonplace that cause people to feel the deepest stabs of abandonment. Everyday Abandonment People often imagine that violent or extreme events cause trauma. However, people frequently experience abandonment trauma from subtle things they experience in relationships. These things can seem so slight, or even hard to identify, that we often overlook them, or even make excuses for them. This leads to us feeling as though we shouldn’t feel a sense of abandonment, or that we are being overly sensitive. For example, you may have a friend who cancels plans at the last minute. They gain reputations for being unreliable, and other friends might joke about their inability to commit to anything. They might have a deep reason for being this way, and because their behavior is predictable and joked about, we might make excuses for them or dismiss our frustrations with them. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we might find that we feel more than frustration with them. Their constant cancellation of plans makes us feel less important to them, and we feel like we can’t rely on them anymore. Sometimes it is the common, everyday behavior that friends, family, and loved ones do that makes us feel abandoned. These are difficult things to confront because we can feel self-conscious that we are overreacting to the situation. It is only as we begin to confront our feelings honestly, and share these feelings with the relevant people, that we can find healing from [...]

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Always Abide: Help and Healing for Abandonment

2024-10-29T14:49:11+00:00August 30th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The effects of childhood and adolescent experiences impact our view of self and relationships with others. By default, we tend to follow the example that was provided by those who raised us. Ideal conditions would have furnished the secure attachment, acceptance, and affirmation that fosters what each human needs. Because of abandonment, this doesn’t always happen. Parents and caregivers whose absence or intermittent presence influenced our early lives may not have been equipped to offer it. Their abandonment, which the American Psychological Association (APA) describes as “desertion or substantial leave-taking” delegated custodial responsibilities to us, their dependents. Consequently, abandonment left gaps in our history where our legitimate needs were unmet. Though we have entered adulthood, our wounded inner child still seeks safety, protection, and provision. There is an internal void that wants to satisfy what was lacking from childhood. In an attempt to remedy history, we spend part of our adulthood, repeating a variation of the patterns absorbed in our youth. Our lack of a healthy model for initiating and sustaining relationships left us with a deficit. Without an example based on mutual respect, love, and affection, we need support in learning how to respond to those who desire emotional intimacy and connection. In many ways, we may still experience triggers associated with the pain of a difficult past. It shows up when we engage with spouses, partners, or other loved ones, especially when conflict arises. We may resist the authenticity and vulnerability that forms relationship bonds and not present our true selves. When questioned or challenged, we may feel the need to aggressively defend or withdraw in passivity, either of which can inhibit connection. Perplexed, we may question if we will be abandoned again and left vulnerable. This can result in emotional unavailability or placing a demand on [...]

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