Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

9 Different Ways People Feel Abandoned

, 2025-04-03T05:40:32+00:00April 3rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment looks different from person to person. People frequently second-guess themselves. They might question if their perception of events. Likewise, they may feel as if they are overly sensitive when others who experienced the same event were not affected in the same way. Sometimes it is the events that seem to be so ordinary and commonplace that cause people to feel the deepest stabs of abandonment. Everyday Abandonment People often imagine that violent or extreme events cause trauma. However, people frequently experience abandonment trauma from subtle things they experience in relationships. These things can seem so slight, or even hard to identify, that we often overlook them, or even make excuses for them. This leads to us feeling as though we shouldn’t feel a sense of abandonment, or that we are being overly sensitive. For example, you may have a friend who cancels plans at the last minute. They gain reputations for being unreliable, and other friends might joke about their inability to commit to anything. They might have a deep reason for being this way, and because their behavior is predictable and joked about, we might make excuses for them or dismiss our frustrations with them. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we might find that we feel more than frustration with them. Their constant cancellation of plans makes us feel less important to them, and we feel like we can’t rely on them anymore. Sometimes it is the common, everyday behavior that friends, family, and loved ones do that makes us feel abandoned. These are difficult things to confront because we can feel self-conscious that we are overreacting to the situation. It is only as we begin to confront our feelings honestly, and share these feelings with the relevant people, that we can find healing from [...]

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Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

, 2025-03-24T14:48:24+00:00March 24th, 2025|Dental|

The people you are close to play an important role in your life. One of the key predictors of well-being is whether we’re in healthy relationships with others, whether it’s with a spouse, friends, siblings, colleagues, or neighbors. Some relationships will have a deeper and more lasting impact compared to others, but the point is that as relational and social creatures, the health of our relationships is immensely important. If the health of our relationships matters for our well-being, it pays to know why those relationships can go wrong, and how to remedy it. One of the key areas where a relationship can be unhealthy is when emotional neglect is taking place. Emotional Neglect in Relationships Emotional neglect is an unfortunate reality in many relationships. Whether it’s between parents and their children, siblings, or in a romantic relationship, it’s possible for loved ones to experience emotional neglect. Emotional neglect can be understood as a type of abuse. When a person is neglected emotionally, their emotional needs are consistently ignored, dismissed, or disregarded. What adds to the pain of emotional neglect is that the ones who are disregarding or dismissing another’s emotional needs are the same people who carry the responsibility to meet those needs. Partners, caregivers, or parents are responsible to others to meet their needs, and it’s part of what makes the relationship a healthy one. Emotional neglect can take various forms, including minimizing or trivializing the other person’s experiences; being unavailable and unresponsive when called upon; showing little to no interest in the others’ feelings, thoughts, or experiences; not providing reassurance or comfort; ignoring or dismissing the other’s emotions; withholding validation and support; and not acknowledging or apologizing for hurtful or harmful behavior. When emotional neglect is present in a relationship, it can have a detrimental effect [...]

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

, 2025-03-10T04:45:12+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space boundary. Give yourself some physical distance between yourself and the person who has caused you trauma. [...]

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Signs of Alcohol Dependence and Some Effective Treatment Options in Carrollton, Texas

2025-03-07T14:17:43+00:00March 7th, 2025|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. One person’s experience may be related to happy and enjoyable memories, while for another it’s associated with dark and painful ones. Each person must navigate how they will deal with alcohol, and it helps to be informed about some of the ways it can negatively affect someone, such as with alcohol dependence. Various substances such as prescription and recreational drugs affect the brain. Likewise, alcohol can produce pleasurable feelings and also blunt negative ones. It has a powerful effect on the brain, which can make it appealing. This temporary relief can motivate someone to turn to alcohol again and again, even when it poses possible significant risks to their health and overall well-being. You can become dependent on alcohol even without recognizing it. What is Alcohol Dependence? When you depend on something, it means that it plays a significant role in your life. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may feel as though they cannot function without consuming alcohol. Alcohol assumes an important role in their life, and often they have to drink more of it to obtain the same effect as before. Alcohol becomes a priority, superseding other activities or obligations. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may not only prioritize alcohol over other things like family or work, but they may continue to consume alcohol even when it becomes destructive. Even if they’ve begun experiencing the harmful consequences of drinking, such as getting a DUI, losing their job, being diagnosed with liver disease, or other mental health challenges, they will continue to drink. Alcohol dependence is marked by the impaired ability to stop or control one’s intake and use of alcohol. Alcohol dependence is one of a cluster of terms that are often used interchangeably to [...]

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Knowing the Difference Between a Big Appetite and Binge Eating in Teens

2025-02-26T05:46:12+00:00February 26th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Jackson has been feeling lost since he recently realized his teenage son Jack Junior’s famous appetite may have evolved into a binge eating disorder. As a single dad, born and raised on a ranch in Texas, surrounded mostly by cowboys who don’t talk much about emotion, Jackson is not quite sure how to even broach this topic with his son. All sorts of questions keep floating around in his head. “How did I not notice that my kid might have an eating disorder sooner?”. “How can I know for sure if my son is binge eating?”. “How and why did this develop into a disorder?”. “How much of a problem is this condition?”. With this article, we hope to answer most of Jackson’s questions and help any other parent who might find themselves in the same boat with their child. How did I not notice that my child might have an eating disorder sooner? The boy, Jack Jr., has always had a huge appetite and loves his steaks, drumsticks, potatoes, and gravy. You see, his mother, who recently passed away of cancer, was the ranch’s resident cook, so he has grown up surrounded by her rich cooking, literally eating it all up. What Jackson doesn’t know is that in recent months, Junior has endured relentless teasing at school for the way he looks with hurtful body-shaming nicknames that are thrown at him every day. Slowly he’s been finding ways to cope with the pain by seeking solace in food. It’s become his routine that when life throws too much at him, he just retreats to his room, locks the door, and starts binge eating whatever snacks he could find in the pantry or leftovers stashed in the fridge. Jack Junior can eat several bags of chips, cookies, a full [...]

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How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

, 2025-02-19T10:27:23+00:00February 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

If you have ever seen a good communicator in the flow of expressing themselves, it can be both an inspiring and discouraging thing to witness. Some people seem to be able to express themselves naturally and effortlessly, while others have a host of issues to overcome. The encouraging news is that learning to communicate better is entirely possible; the first step is learning about the barriers that block effective communication. How to Communicate Better by Overcoming Assumptions Words are a small part of communication. People communicate with their personalities, their bodies, and even through silence. We take in and respond to large amounts of information daily without fully realizing that we are wordlessly communicating with those around us. For example, when a coworker who is normally chatty and vibrant comes into work and they are quiet, withdrawn, and disheveled in appearance, they are communicating something without even speaking. We might subconsciously take note of their behavior, body language, and appearance and deduce that they are struggling today. They have communicated something to us. How we treat them in response is us communicating back to them. We might be gracious to them, give them space by not engaging in small talk, or we might take the opportunity to ask them how they are. If we were to observe the changes in them and decide on the reasons for those changes, we would be assuming. It might be a correct assumption, but without asking them simple, non-invasive questions, we won’t know for sure what is going on. Assumptions might be correct, but by leaning on assumptions, we risk being incorrect. There remains a barrier between us and the person we’ve assumed about. Correct assumptions are just as unhelpful as incorrect assumptions, in some ways. Making assumptions means that there is a [...]

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4 Ways to Stop a Panic Attack

, 2025-02-19T11:50:28+00:00February 19th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Panic attacks are more common than people realize. However, they may also be more challenging to recognize. A panic attack occurs when a person’s anxiety has been going on for some time, and they are stuck in a fight or flight response. This is when the parasympathetic nervous system continues to feel fear even when there’s no stimulus or reason to feel that fear. Panic can happen both in public and in private. A panic attack can cause embarrassment and humiliation, especially in a social situation. A panic attack can occur in an instant; they are challenging to detect because a person can be in the middle of the conversation and realize they are having a panic attack. 4 Ways to Stop a Panic Attack Panic attack symptoms mimic heart attack symptoms. A person may feel pain in the chest, a constant sense of fear, tingling or numbness in the arm, sweating palms, a shaking or fearful feeling, shortness of breath, etc. These symptoms can range from mild to severe and may cause someone to go to the emergency room. However, there are ways to stop a panic attack from getting too severe. Here are four ways to stop a panic attack: 1. Go Somewhere Alone Anxiety symptoms are complex enough to deal with. It can be uncomfortable if it happens in a social situation. They may want to hide the symptoms, so they don’t have to tell others what they feel. However, this can add to their stress if they fear peer rejection. It is essential to have someone supportive of you with you when you’re having a panic attack. If you sense your anxiety has been at a high level, let the supportive person know. If you need to leave, figure out a signal or word you [...]

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Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

, 2025-03-27T18:32:14+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to discern what strengths you want to build upon and what weaknesses you need to tackle first. For [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

, 2025-01-07T03:58:54+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just needs to push through this and get to the other side. Depression requires treatment, and it does not [...]

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Work Boundaries: The Value of Taking Breaks

2024-11-07T09:10:34+00:00November 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

You may have caught yourself doing it. You’re at a party or a gathering related to your kids like a sports event. You strike up a conversation with another person, and before you know it, you ask them what they do for a living, or they ask you about yourself and you start talking about your work. Sometimes it seems as though we can never get away from our work because we have no work boundaries. For many of us, our lives are defined by our work. Most of our waking hours are tied closely with work, whether that’s our morning commute to work, thinking about deadlines and meetings, gaining skills to make us better at our job, resolving a thorny interpersonal issue that’s arisen there, or thinking about getting a different job than the one we have. The Place of Work in Our Lives The work that we do provides us with many things. We can derive our sense of purpose, resources to support our family and pursue other passions, and a means of serving our community through our work. The work that takes up your day might not be remunerated with a salary, but that doesn’t diminish its significance or impact. Work can be deeply fulfilling even when it isn’t a career. Work has existed since the beginning of creation, and despite what the Monday blues tell you, work is fundamentally good. It existed in the garden before people rebelled against God and our work became a burdensome toil (Genesis 2:15; Genesis 3:17-19). Work still provides us with pleasure, especially if it is good work that’s done well, but it’s also true that most of us have a love-hate relationship with our work. One of the other things that’s happened with us and our work is [...]

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