Kate Motaung, Carrollton Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:06:17+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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A Few Healthy Ways of Dealing With Loneliness

A Few Healthy Ways of Dealing With Loneliness

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:07:46+00:00November 4th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling|

God created us as social and relational creatures. We flourish when we are in healthy relationships with other people, and we can struggle if we find ourselves feeling isolated. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Solitude can be good for a person, but loneliness can lead to poor mental and cardiovascular health, among other negative outcomes. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), loneliness is cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving yourself to be alone. It can be an objective as well as a subjective state in which one feels emotional distress when their inherent needs for intimacy and companionship are not met. The key difference between being alone and being lonely is that, in loneliness, you want the company of others, but that need is not being met. Reasons why people feel lonely People’s lives and circumstances vary, and there are many different reasons why people feel lonely. Living by yourself If you prefer to live with others but live alone, that can lead to loneliness. The longing for companionship can be difficult when you come home to an empty apartment or house. Loss of loved ones The elderly struggle significantly with loneliness, as they may have lost many loved ones and no longer have people in their social support network. If your closest confidant has passed away, or if you’ve been through a divorce, you can find yourself feeling lonely and isolated. A new situation If you’ve just moved to a new city or country, chances are you haven’t built up a network of people to hang out with. Until you build up those networks, loneliness is a possibility. Lack of intimacy in current relationships You may be far away from people you would consider trusted confidants. Perhaps you have fought [...]

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12 Quick Coping Mechanisms for Stress

12 Quick Coping Mechanisms for Stress

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T09:07:56+00:00October 26th, 2024|Anxiety, Depression, Featured, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Have you noticed your response when you get a shock, like your car not starting? Or the slowly mounting worries as a deadline approaches? Almost all of us cope with the negative effects of stress every day. Whether we endure long-term, low-grade stress or periods of acute stress, both have significant effects on our bodies and minds. Consistent feelings of tension should not be ignored. Fortunately, we can understand what happens inside our bodies and adopt simple coping mechanisms for stress to help neutralize the harmful effects of daily stress. Your body’s reaction to stress, whether sudden or ongoing, is to engage your nervous system and open the adrenaline and cortisol taps into your bloodstream. These hormones increase our pulse, cause our blood sugar to climb, and push up our blood pressure. When you get a fright, this physiological reaction helps you deal with it better than you would have otherwise. But most of the stress you experience is chronic in the form of financial insecurity and challenging relationships. This stress prevents our bodies from calming down properly, and this damages our health. Do you recognize any of these symptoms of chronic stress? Anxiety and depression, weight gain, memory loss, stroke, and heart disease. Being able to recognize your body’s warning signs will help you take consistent and increased action to mitigate the effects of stress. It would do you the world of good to speak with a healthcare professional with the appropriate skills and experience if you are dealing with any of these symptoms: Inability to focus Frequent, terrible headaches Being bored by activities that used to interest you Inexplicable weight loss or increase Feelings of loneliness, alienation, or insignificance Always feeling angry and irritable Protracted periods of inadequate sleep Persistent worrying or compulsive thinking Too much alcohol [...]

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Blueprint for Battle: Winning the War with Mental and Emotional Health

Blueprint for Battle: Winning the War with Mental and Emotional Health

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T09:08:20+00:00September 30th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

It isn’t a coincidence that many of the challenges that we face concerning our mental and emotional health seem to disable us and halt our effectiveness in life. The enemy we face isn’t only one that seeks to kill, steal, and destroy in the natural sense. He also contends against our souls, in the inner person where everything that we see outside of us plays out from the inside. When we feel battered by life’s challenges, including the trauma of a troubled past, it can disarm and make us feel as if we cannot win. Although this is what our adversary desires, it isn’t the full picture. He may have orchestrated specific challenges, intending to annihilate our faith and strength. We see and experience it as challenges surface in one area and yet another, making us feel that we are surrounded and must succumb to the pressures of life. But that isn’t the end of the story. God repurposes those same difficulties, as places for us to encounter wisdom and compassion. Though it may not appear so, He has predetermined your triumph that affirms who we are in Him and reveals His glory in foreboding circumstances (1 Corinthians 15:57). We can take hope and strength from the Bible. God’s Word arms us with spiritual authority and practical steps to support us in battles that we encounter from the inside out. We need to remember that we have not been given a spirit of fear. The Lord has given us power, love, and a sound mind, and our mental and emotional health does not have to unravel in the face of trouble (2 Timothy 1:7). Although He has equipped us with a spiritual arsenal to stand against our enemy, the battle we are called into isn’t ours at [...]

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Self-Care Activities You Can Do Daily that Improve Your Mental Health

Self-Care Activities You Can Do Daily that Improve Your Mental Health

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T09:08:32+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

The idea of self-care can often feel unattainable, especially during times of stress, busyness, or when we feel overwhelmed. While we recognize the benefits of self-care, taking time to do things for ourselves feels impossible. When life is busy or we feel burdened, we don’t feel like we can stop and go on vacation or go get a massage. While these self-care activities are good, they often become one more thing we can’t seem to do right. Instead of looking for self-care activities that take us out of our everyday lives, we can find things to incorporate into our lives that bring peace. They may not be things that change what is stressing us out. However, participating in attainable self-care activities can fortify our mental wellness so we can better navigate whatever season we are walking through in life. The key to making this work It’s not about finding the magic thing to do or the dream vacation to take. This is all about keeping things realistic and within reach. They need to be activities that you can incorporate into your life without becoming burdensome. If they are easy to incorporate, you are more likely to do them. Similarly, they need to be things that you enjoy. It’s great to read a list of ideas, but if none of them help you, they are useless. Sometimes it is helpful to try things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. This gives you the chance to discover new activities and their potential benefits in your life. Whatever you choose to do, try it a few times before deciding if it’s right for you. Sometimes you need to settle into how it works or how it makes you feel before deciding if it’s right for you. The great thing about these ideas is that [...]

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6 Examples of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

6 Examples of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T14:48:39+00:00April 26th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Relationships of all sorts such as romantic couplings, a parent and child, or between siblings, can be various shades of healthy and unhealthy. When human relationships are at their best, their beauty shines through even in sorrow at the loss of a loved one. However, when a relationship is unhealthy or at its worst, such as when emotional abuse is present, even the moments of joy in the relationship can taste like ash. People can relate to one another in familiar but toxic patterns that may be obvious to people other than them because familiarity blinds them to what’s happening. By providing examples, it may highlight behaviors from others or that you engage in yourself that may constitute emotional abuse and that needs to be addressed. What is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse refers to a range of nonphysical behaviors that are aimed at punishing, controlling, demeaning, ignoring, or isolating another person. An emotionally abusive person may manipulate another using fear, humiliation, and other tactics to get what they want. It can happen in any kind of relationship, such as between parents and children, employers and their workers, and romantic partners. When a person emotionally abuses another, a person may simply be reenacting patterns of behavior that they learned in other formative relationships. However, just because it’s unintentional, that doesn’t reduce the harm caused, and emotional abuse needs to be addressed. Signs and examples There are some signs that you should look for that point to emotional abuse. Often, the person that experiences it feels tired or depressed after interactions with the abuser. A person’s sense of confidence may suffer, and they may begin pulling away from other relationships. Some examples of emotional abuse include: Gaslighting This is when a person manipulates their counterpart into distrusting their judgment, memory, or [...]

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Partners for Life: Bible Verses on Love and Marriage

Partners for Life: Bible Verses on Love and Marriage

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T14:48:54+00:00November 15th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

When He was asked what the greatest command in the whole of Scripture was, Jesus answered that it all hangs on love. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV). All that we do in life ought to revolve and flow from loving God and our neighbor. This applies to marriage as well as to any other relationship. Together, for life. Marriage brings two people and binds them together for life. Though we decide to get married, it’s God who is joining the two and making them one flesh. Jesus reminds us of this profound reality when He was responding to a question about divorce by saying: “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV The marriage bond should not be dissolved by us because God designed marriage to be permanent from the beginning. Marriage is bigger than us; it is a symbol of how Christ loves and cleaves to His Church. Pondering the same verses from Genesis 2, Paul writes “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the [...]

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Issues That Might Come Up In Christian Premarital Counseling

Issues That Might Come Up In Christian Premarital Counseling

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T14:49:02+00:00November 6th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The people we allow closest to us play a significant role in our lives by being part of our overall well-being. They form our support network, that group of people to whom we can turn in times of crisis and on whose wisdom we rely. This especially applies to premarital counseling. They are the people who guide us, keep us accountable, help us nurture our dreams, and with whom we do life. When these key relationships are healthy, we have a better chance of flourishing, and when they are mired in ongoing conflict or other unhealthy behaviors, your flourishing is hampered. Your choice of marriage partner is one of the weightier decisions you’ll make in your life. This is the person you’re choosing to walk alongside for the rest of your life. This is likely the individual who will have the largest impact on your well-being, for good or for ill. In his book The Mystery of Marriage, Mike Mason rightly says that “There is nothing in the world worse than a bad marriage, and at the same time nothing better than a good one”. What is Christian premarital counseling for? Christian premarital counseling is part of the process of wisely discerning whether the person you want to get married to is the right partner for you. Premarital counseling helps you consider the reality of marriage and married life so that you make an informed decision. Additionally, by addressing certain perennial issues that often trip couples up in their life together, premarital counseling helps prepare couples to face those challenges well. Issues that might come up. Premarital counseling makes for better decision-making and a greater sense of ownership of the decision to get married. It helps you get prepared for life together by helping you think through issues that [...]

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Always Abide: Help and Healing for Abandonment

Always Abide: Help and Healing for Abandonment

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T14:49:11+00:00August 30th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The effects of childhood and adolescent experiences impact our view of self and relationships with others. By default, we tend to follow the example that was provided by those who raised us. Ideal conditions would have furnished the secure attachment, acceptance, and affirmation that fosters what each human needs. Because of abandonment, this doesn’t always happen. Parents and caregivers whose absence or intermittent presence influenced our early lives may not have been equipped to offer it. Their abandonment, which the American Psychological Association (APA) describes as “desertion or substantial leave-taking” delegated custodial responsibilities to us, their dependents. Consequently, abandonment left gaps in our history where our legitimate needs were unmet. Though we have entered adulthood, our wounded inner child still seeks safety, protection, and provision. There is an internal void that wants to satisfy what was lacking from childhood. In an attempt to remedy history, we spend part of our adulthood, repeating a variation of the patterns absorbed in our youth. Our lack of a healthy model for initiating and sustaining relationships left us with a deficit. Without an example based on mutual respect, love, and affection, we need support in learning how to respond to those who desire emotional intimacy and connection. In many ways, we may still experience triggers associated with the pain of a difficult past. It shows up when we engage with spouses, partners, or other loved ones, especially when conflict arises. We may resist the authenticity and vulnerability that forms relationship bonds and not present our true selves. When questioned or challenged, we may feel the need to aggressively defend or withdraw in passivity, either of which can inhibit connection. Perplexed, we may question if we will be abandoned again and left vulnerable. This can result in emotional unavailability or placing a demand on [...]

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Does My Child Need Counseling?

Does My Child Need Counseling?

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T14:49:19+00:00August 15th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Many parents struggle with whether their child needs counseling. While they may be facing challenges at home, it can be difficult to recognize what is simply typical child behavior and what things are more than that. For example, if your child is struggling in school, does that mean he or she needs counseling or is it simply an issue regarding academics? Similarly, if your toddler is typically independent and now seems to demand all your attention, is it a phase or does it indicate a bigger issue? These questions can be hard to navigate. Add in the feelings that accompany seeking counseling, dealing with any silent stigma about counseling, and not wanting to think that your child could have something difficult going on, and the decision about counseling can feel paralyzing. The most important thing to know Counseling can help. Whether your child is simply in a phase, or he or she is dealing with something more complex, counseling can help. It isn’t a cure, but it can help you and your child navigate whatever they are going through. You can seek help from a counselor even if you don’t know exactly what the problem is or how serious it is. It is similar to how you would seek help from a doctor for your child’s sore ankle about which you’re unsure. The doctor can help you determine what your child needs just like a counselor can help do the same. Signs your child might need counseling While there are no specific things to indicate counseling is needed, there are things you can look for. Certain behaviors can indicate that your child may be struggling with something and they could benefit from counseling. Behaviors to look for are: No longer enjoying hobbies they once liked. Change in attitude that [...]

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Kate Motaung

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Carrollton Christian Counseling

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