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Overscheduled and Overwhelmed: Strategies to Overcome Stress

2024-10-29T14:50:04+00:00February 20th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Our fast-paced world spurs us to hurry and hustle. In real and virtual life, we witness people living what they call their best lives. Sometimes, we attempt to keep up with them instead of seeking God for what He has in store for us, causing us to experience stress. While He has certainly created us with dreams, which we may have fashioned into noteworthy goals, we become overloaded and less effective when we try to match the world’s pace. When we do, we miss ourselves and the value that God wants to add to our lives when we prioritize Him. Fueling frustration. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. – Matthew 6:33, ESV The challenge for us is that we chase “these things,” putting our pursuit into reverse order. Instead of God first, we place Him at the bottom of our endless to-do list. We crave His peace and joy, but we imagine finding it in a hustle-and-grind mindset. Essentially, we can become too occupied to enjoy God and too exhausted to savor His rest. That can induce anxiety, further compounding the effects of the kind of stress that leads to burnout. Stress takes its toll on our physical health in both small and significant ways. However, the wear and tear that it leverages on our mental and emotional states may not be as noticeable but are equally as important. It causes disenchantment when we feel that we are not experiencing the full life that we know Jesus promised (John 10:10). Rarely, do we pause to rest and reassess, preferring to press forward. Instead of bringing this tension between discontent and exhaustion to the Lord, we tire ourselves with over-commitment, hoping to find internal fulfillment and peace [...]

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How to Get Through the Pain of Rejection

2024-10-29T14:50:12+00:00February 9th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When someone leaves you for someone or something else the pain of rejection can be terrifying. It can feel like you have to live with the awareness that you have been replaced in addition to the loss, hurt, and emptiness you are experiencing. The message in your mind screams: You are no longer good enough. There is someone better. The initial weeks after someone’s departure can be incredibly difficult. In response, people stop eating, stop sleeping, cry, withdraw, and generally feel as if everything is falling apart. Sometimes things feel removed, out of this world, like a character in a play. Disbelief and denial are present. Frequently, one of the hardest things is going to sleep. Agonizing sorrow crosses the mind. The ideas don’t stop. When sleep does come, it often comes in fits. The morning after awakening is no better. The suffering begins all over again with each new day. Rejection. Pushing someone or anything away is a definition of rejection. Rejection from one’s birth family, a friend, or a romantic partner can happen, and the ensuing emotions are frequently traumatic. In daily life, it can be felt in significant or minor ways. Even while rejection is frequently a part of life, some kinds of rejection might be harder to handle than others. The rejection of a spouse, for example, is especially difficult because of the intimacy of the marriage relationship. Even a strained marriage is founded on intimacy. Rejection from a parent is particularly difficult as well since this is a formative relationship in a child’s life. Being aware of rejection. There are several situations where rejection can happen, but it typically refers to a situation in which someone or something is pushed aside or out. For instance, someone might reject or refuse to accept a present. [...]

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What Does the Bible Say About Depression?

2024-10-29T14:50:31+00:00January 11th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Although it’s not always possible to find Bible verses directly related to what we’re going through, depression is an exception to that. If you’re wondering, “What does the Bible say about depression?” this article is for you. Of course, a diagnosis of depression didn’t exist in Bible times, but there are many examples of biblical characters suffering from sadness, hopelessness, weariness, and other depressive symptoms, along with passages about how they related to God during their depression. Whether you’re experiencing grief, temporary sadness, situational depression, major depressive disorder, or another form of depression, the Bible offers hope. So while on the one hand, we can ask, “What does the Bible say about depression?” on the other hand we can also look for what the Bible says about hope. They are two sides of the same coin since depression steals our hope and hope can overshadow sadness. The Bible also offers many comforting words about God’s love for us during difficult times in life. Even when we are walking through suffering and sadness, we don’t have to go through it alone. Scripture informs our depression treatment and it’s the only inspired tool that connects us to God. There are many ways to connect with Scripture, including through music, Christian meditation, prayer, and more. Keep reading to learn more about a Scriptural approach to depression that is informed by evidence-based therapy techniques. A Definition Here is a clear explanation of depression from Psychiatry.org: “Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can [...]

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Self-Growth for Christians: Should You Have Ambitions?

2024-09-25T08:32:40+00:00December 23rd, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-growth is a process where individuals are encouraged to identify their strengths and weaknesses including in their day-to-day habits and attitudes for purposes of self-improvement to reach certain goals or to realize certain dreams. The underlying premise is that there is always room to become a better version of your current self. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, there is a type of pressure that comes with knowing that even at your best version the world still thinks you can do better, have better, do more, or have more. Because it prioritizes the self, the pursuit of self-growth can easily turn people into self-centered, egotistical, and individualistic beings whose sole purpose is to get to the top. In a world that places increased emphasis on the self, it is easy for a Christian to be caught in a moral dilemma of how to pursue personal goals and achievements while also living the selfless and altruistic life that the Bible encourages. You may find yourself wondering where one must draw the line between following the gospel and improving oneself for purposes of fitting in with the demands of the modern world. As a Christian, it is of vital importance to know that there is no situation that the Bible does not guide on. The topic of self-growth for Christians is, therefore, best understood if discussed within the confines of Romans 12:2 (NIV) which says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” What this means for a Christian is, in your pursuit of self-growth, do not blindly follow the world’s view of wanting more, wanting better, [...]

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My Husband is Depressed. How Can I Help?

2024-10-29T14:50:40+00:00December 12th, 2022|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Loving someone who is depressed can be hard. Many times, spouses feel helpless as they watch the person they care so much about suffering. It is difficult when all you want to do is help and it feels impossible to know how. If your husband is depressed, perhaps this article will help. Additionally, people who are depressed sometimes release their feelings and frustrations toward the people they feel safe with, often a spouse or a loved one. This can mean you are juggling the longing to help your spouse as well as your feelings about how you are treated. If your husband is depressed, it is not just their struggle. You have your own experiences and feelings to navigate. What is depression? Before you can look at how to help your husband, you need to understand what depression is. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.” Sometimes referred to as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, daily activities can become difficult for those suffering as depression affects how you think, feel, and behave. It is important to understand that being depressed is more than an occasional feeling of sadness or having the blues. It is not something that patients can simply turn off. Depression is a medical condition that requires treatment. Medication, therapy, or a combination of the two often have a positive impact on treating depression. Common signs of depression can include sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, changes in sleep or eating habits, anger, difficulty concentrating or completing tasks, unexplained physical ailments, and even suicidal thoughts. People with depression can experience these or any combination of feelings that persists over time. Loving your depressed husband. If your husband suffers from depression, it can be difficult to [...]

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How to Stop Worrying: Causes and Remedies

2024-10-29T14:50:49+00:00November 29th, 2022|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

In order to stop worrying, it is important to recognize that one of the many gifts that the Lord created human beings with is our remarkable capacity for thought. People can think ahead and map out future events in a way that allows them to plan, anticipate potential issues and obstacles and develop strategies to deal with them. This is an amazing capacity that can help a person achieve goals as diverse as getting a college degree, working through a difficult patch in marriage, building a successful business, etc. Being able to think ahead thus helps us to adapt to the world around us and navigate it well. However, at times our minds can be like a hamster wheel, endlessly turning but not going anywhere or doing anything meaningful. Mulling over things that might occur endlessly can leave a person feeling anxious because we are uncertain of the outcome or are afraid of the possibilities that might emerge in the future. When we fear the future possibility of failure, getting injured, or experiencing loss of various kinds, that can generate the mental anguish that we commonly label as “worry.” A simplistic way to think of the distinction between anxiety and worry is that while anxiety mostly affects our bodies, worry tends to reside more in our heads. Worry is closely tied to our efforts to resolve an issue that is uncertain but that carries the potential for negative consequences. And so we can dwell on an upcoming physical exam and find ourselves thinking about all the possible negative outcomes from it. Or if a loved one or colleague leaves us a message with those dreaded words “We need to talk,” we can find ourselves spiraling as we consider all the ways things could go wrong. One of the main [...]

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5 Common Signs of Anger Issues

2024-10-29T14:50:57+00:00August 21st, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anger is a normal human emotion that can be kindled in numerous ways – from a small inconvenience such as being delayed in a traffic queue to unhappiness caused in marriage when partners are not meeting one another’s needs sufficiently. It is not unusual to be angered, and short of anger issues, anger in itself is not necessarily sinful. In the Bible, the command is “In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV) – meaning that it is assumed that we will get angry, but the aspect that God is concerned with is how we respond when this emotion is provoked in us. Likewise, just because we feel angry at times, this does not mean that we have anger issues. Signs of anger issues that need to be dealt with are those that are expressed in unhealthy ways that are damaging to those around us and our own mental and spiritual wellbeing. If you feel that you lack self-control in the instances below, it might be worth exploring some counseling to get a better grip on your emotions: Signs of Anger Issues You get easily annoyed Our friends, spouses, parents, other family members, and colleagues are bound to annoy us at times. Chances are, the better you get to know someone, the more you will be exposed to all aspects of their personality, not just the pleasant side. This can evoke annoyance and frustration, but signs of anger issues can be a constant inability to handle others’ shortcomings. If you are easily annoyed by the many inconveniences of daily life, it is worth asking yourself why you feel so angry – sometimes there can be a deeper source of frustration that needs to be worked through. Scripture tells us to love one another, and that as Christians we [...]

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How to Leave a Toxic Romantic Relationship

2024-09-25T08:31:52+00:00August 17th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Romantic relationships might very well be one of life’s greatest paradoxes; on one hand, you can be taken to the lofty and dizzying heights of love, or you may be left with a sour and bitter taste in your mouth from a toxic relationship, wondering what you ever saw in your partner in the first place. Because relationships are made up of two sinful people, they are by their very nature difficult. People come from different backgrounds with different family dynamics, values, and beliefs which in turn shape their general worldview. What this means is that no matter how much a couple may like or love each other, differences will arise at some point even in the most solid of relationships. Some differences may be small and insignificant while some may be big enough to rock the couple’s boat and be defined as toxic. The Oxford dictionary defines the word toxic as something which is “very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.” A toxic relationship can therefore be best understood by looking at some of the elements that typically characterize such relationships and whose common traits are psychological or physical damage to either or both parties to that relationship. Toxicity in relationships can stem from divergent factual points which makes it difficult for anyone who tries to list exhaustively all the behaviors that can be described as toxic in a relationship. Whether or not a relationship will thrive is therefore often determined by the couple’s ability to compromise and adopt healthy conflict resolution strategies. An important question that arises then would be; if conflicts are a normal component of relationships where then, does one draw the line between healthy disagreements and a toxic relationship? Can toxic relationships be salvaged; can one simply leave a toxic relationship [...]

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