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Understanding the Power of Habits: Formation and Impact

2024-09-25T08:33:42+00:00April 17th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Who we become is a subtotal of our daily habits. How we choose to live our lives and define who we are is determined by those things we do almost automatically. Habits can be defined as behavior acquired through repetition and happen subconsciously, meaning we do not put any thought into it. Most times we are not aware of what it is we are doing or how it is contributing to our welfare and our lives in general. For us to recognize the power that habits have on our lives, we need to clarify for ourselves which ones we have and whether they are serving us. Carl Jung is quoted to have said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” In this statement, he makes the point that habits influence our lives. This influence can either be negative or positive. The hope is that if we are conscious of our them, we give ourselves the ability to continue with those that serve us and whom we want to become and start letting go of those that are distracting. How do habits form? In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear says, “Success is the product of daily habits, not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.” Our habits are formed and reinforced by what we choose to do each day. The formation of habits is a three-step process according to the Power of Habit, as described by Charles Duhigg (2012). A habit is etched in our neuropathways due to this three-step process called the habit loop. It starts with a cue, then a routine, and finally a reward. Below is a simpler explanation of how this works: Cue This is the first part of habit formation. A cue is a trigger that prompts us into [...]

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Teen Issues: Coming Meaningfully Alongside Your Teenager

2025-04-24T08:27:02+00:00February 29th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Being young is often associated with being carefree and happy. If you look at commercials, social media, and much of our art, it is a celebration of youth and the vitality associated with it. Young people are also valorized as harbingers of the future, and as the ones who hold their elders’ feet to the fire about pressing issues that will affect them in the future. All that may be true enough, but it doesn’t tell the whole story, at least as it relates to teens and teen issues. If you have a teen in your life, you’ve likely experienced the vitality and vibrancy of having a young adult living in your home. But you’ve probably also experienced a variety of other emotions too, as your teen comes to terms with getting older and making their way in the world. If you are a parent or a caregiver to a teen, it may be helpful to know how to meaningfully come alongside your teen in this season of their lives. Carrollton Christian Counseling can support you in navigating this important stage with wisdom and faith-based guidance. The teen years are complicated by teen issues. Whatever else they may be, the teen years are complicated. For one thing, a teen is located somewhere between being a young child and an adult. They may not need the same level of guidance as when they were younger, but they can’t handle the responsibility of making adult decisions either. This can be a source of tension in the home as both the teen and their parent figure out the new rules of engagement. Teen issues come in many flavors, including some of the following: Changes in their body. As puberty hits, one’s body changes. It can be quite bewildering to know your own [...]

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Understanding and Working On Emotional Distance in Families

2025-04-24T08:15:49+00:00February 8th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

A person’s family is foundational in shaping who they are. Sometimes that shaping is positive, but at other times it’s negative. Your family teaches you the importance of certain values, whether through example or omission. None of us chooses our family, but the people who comprise our family make a deep and lifelong impression on us. Emotional distance can negatively impact families. Each family has its own characteristics, its own intricate dynamic that flows from the combination of the lives of each member. It’s not unheard of for a new member of the family, whether through birth, marriage, or adoption, to shift the trajectory of that family and the way family members relate to one another. Some families are close, enjoying spending time together, while others are fragmented and want nothing to do with one another. Whatever situation you find yourself in, especially if it’s unhealthy, it’s good to know that the situation is not immutable. With work and intentionality, change can happen, and your family can become the sort of nurturing and welcoming community you would like it to be. Carrollton Christian Counseling can help guide your family through that change with faith-based support and practical tools. Emotional distance in perspective. When you consider the human capacity for emotion, it’s enough to leave you speechless. We can be angry, sad, jubilant, curious, confused, disturbed, and many other shades of feeling in between. These feelings find expression in our words, our bodily movements, the tone of our voices, and our facial expressions. Depending on a person’s age and personality, what makes them experience these feelings and how they express these emotions will also differ. Given this broad range of emotions and understanding that individuals and families have their own personalities, how these emotions find expression, and what one feels [...]

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Regaining Joy After Pregnancy Loss

2025-04-24T08:07:04+00:00January 10th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Losing a loved one is tough. Losing a child is tougher. There is something about losing a child that hits differently. A parent shouldn’t lay a child to rest in a casket. But it happens quite a bit. It has been happening since the garden. One of the most complicated losses is pregnancy loss. Questions and grief plague the minds of the parents. There is not as much closure with pregnancy loss as there is in other instances of losing a child. Throughout God’s word, we see parents losing a child. We try to imagine the pain, but unless we have experienced the loss firsthand, we don’t quite understand the gravity of that pain. One of the first examples of child loss is Able. This wasn’t a pregnancy loss, but it was still a time when parents lost a child. Parents must grieve, but it is also important that they regain joy. We can read in the Bible how Eve may have been grieving the loss of Abel when she gave birth to another son by the reason she gave for naming him, Seth. She states that God gave her a child in place of the one she lost. Adam had relations with his wife again; and she gave birth to a son, and named him Seth, for, she said, “God has appointed me another child in place of Abel, because Cain killed him.”  –  Genesis 4:25, NASB There is no replacing one child for another. But when you do decide to have another child after pregnancy loss, you can begin to find the joy that babies bring. This is not to say that you have forgotten the loss, it simply means that you are regaining joy. Carrollton Christian Counseling can support you through this healing process with compassion [...]

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Facing Anxiety about Death

2025-04-24T07:59:04+00:00December 28th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Death is the great inevitability of life. Yet despite this certainty, many have some degree of fear or anxiety about death. In its most intense form, thanatophobia (the fear of death) can hinder you from fully living your life. Others may live with the fear hovering in the back of their mind, not always conscious of it. For some, fear may only come in certain situations. And sometimes it is not your own death that causes fear. The thought of loved ones dying is equally anxiety-inducing. People do all sorts of things to prevent death, from healthy diets and exercise to wearing seatbelts and going through surgery. But while death can be postponed it cannot be cancelled. Each person needs to come to terms with death. As a Christian, you have a completely other perspective on death, one informed by your faith and the Bible. Carrollton Christian Counseling can help you explore this perspective. The Bible is a book that often deals with death from one generation to the next until the resurrection of Jesus Christ. That resurrection gives hope for after death. Yet in death, there is also hope. What does the Bible say regarding anxiety about death? My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. – Psalm 55:4-5, NIV David, the writer of many Psalms, had much reason to experience anxiety about death. He spent many days running from men who wanted him dead. He experienced loss, physical suffering, and exhaustion. Yet he knew who truly had his life in His hand. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death. – Psalm 68:20, NIV While David may have been afraid of men who [...]

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Partners for Life: Bible Verses on Love and Marriage

2025-05-14T16:40:01+00:00November 15th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

When He was asked what the greatest command in the whole of Scripture was, Jesus answered that it all hangs on love. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV). All that we do in life ought to revolve and flow from loving God and our neighbor. This applies to marriage as well as to any other relationship. Together, for life. Marriage brings two people and binds them together for life. Though we decide to get married, it’s God who is joining the two and making them one flesh. Jesus reminds us of this profound reality when He was responding to a question about divorce by saying: “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6, NIV The marriage bond should not be dissolved by us because God designed marriage to be permanent from the beginning. Marriage is bigger than us; it is a symbol of how Christ loves and cleaves to His Church. Carrollton Christian Counseling is here to help couples nurture this sacred bond, providing guidance and support to strengthen marriages in alignment with God’s design. Pondering the same verses from Genesis 2, Paul writes “‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united [...]

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Issues That Might Come Up In Christian Premarital Counseling

2025-04-24T07:36:29+00:00November 6th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The people we allow closest to us play a significant role in our lives by being part of our overall well-being. They form our support network, that group of people to whom we can turn in times of crisis and on whose wisdom we rely. This especially applies to premarital counseling. They are the people who guide us, keep us accountable, help us nurture our dreams, and with whom we do life. When these key relationships are healthy, we have a better chance of flourishing, and when they are mired in ongoing conflict or other unhealthy behaviors, your flourishing is hampered. Your choice of marriage partner is one of the weightier decisions you’ll make in your life. This is the person you’re choosing to walk alongside for the rest of your life. This is likely the individual who will have the largest impact on your well-being, for good or for ill. In his book The Mystery of Marriage, Mike Mason rightly says that “There is nothing in the world worse than a bad marriage, and at the same time nothing better than a good one”. What is Christian premarital counseling for? Christian premarital counseling is part of the process of wisely discerning whether the person you want to get married to is the right partner for you. Premarital counseling helps you consider the reality of marriage and married life so that you make an informed decision. Additionally, by addressing certain perennial issues that often trip couples up in their life together, Carrollton Christian Counseling offers premarital counseling that helps prepare couples to face those challenges well. Issues that might come up. Premarital counseling makes for better decision-making and a greater sense of ownership of the decision to get married. It helps you get prepared for life together by helping [...]

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Always Abide: Help and Healing for Abandonment

2025-04-24T07:29:17+00:00August 30th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The effects of childhood and adolescent experiences impact our view of self and relationships with others. By default, we tend to follow the example that was provided by those who raised us. Ideal conditions would have furnished the secure attachment, acceptance, and affirmation that fosters what each human needs. Because of abandonment, this doesn’t always happen. Parents and caregivers whose absence or intermittent presence influenced our early lives may not have been equipped to offer it. Their abandonment, which the American Psychological Association (APA) describes as “desertion or substantial leave-taking” delegated custodial responsibilities to us, their dependents. Consequently, abandonment left gaps in our history where our legitimate needs were unmet. Though we have entered adulthood, our wounded inner child still seeks safety, protection, and provision. There is an internal void that wants to satisfy what was lacking from childhood. In an attempt to remedy history, we spend part of our adulthood repeating a variation of the patterns absorbed in our youth. Carrollton Christian Counseling can help you explore these patterns and begin the healing process through faith-based guidance. Our lack of a healthy model for initiating and sustaining relationships left us with a deficit. Without an example based on mutual respect, love, and affection, we need support in learning how to respond to those who desire emotional intimacy and connection. In many ways, we may still experience triggers associated with the pain of a difficult past. It shows up when we engage with spouses, partners, or other loved ones, especially when conflict arises. We may resist the authenticity and vulnerability that forms relationship bonds and not present our true selves. When questioned or challenged, we may feel the need to aggressively defend or withdraw in passivity, either of which can inhibit connection. Perplexed, we may question if we will [...]

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Does My Child Need Counseling?

2025-04-24T07:21:27+00:00August 15th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Many parents struggle with whether their child needs counseling. While they may be facing challenges at home, it can be difficult to recognize what is simply typical child behavior and what things are more than that. For example, if your child is struggling in school, does that mean he or she needs counseling or is it simply an issue regarding academics? Similarly, if your toddler is typically independent and now seems to demand all your attention, is it a phase or does it indicate a bigger issue? These questions can be hard to navigate. Add in the feelings that accompany seeking counseling, dealing with any silent stigma about counseling, and not wanting to think that your child could have something difficult going on, and the decision about counseling can feel paralyzing. Carrollton Christian Counseling understands these challenges and is here to provide compassionate, faith-based support for your family. The most important thing to know Counseling can help. Whether your child is simply in a phase, or he or she is dealing with something more complex, counseling can help. It isn’t a cure, but it can help you and your child navigate whatever they are going through. You can seek help from a counselor even if you don’t know exactly what the problem is or how serious it is. It is similar to how you would seek help from a doctor for your child’s sore ankle about which you’re unsure. The doctor can help you determine what your child needs just like a counselor can help do the same. Signs your child might need counseling While there are no specific things to indicate counseling is needed, there are things you can look for. Certain behaviors can indicate that your child may be struggling with something and they could benefit from [...]

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How to Make Your Golden Years Golden: Aging in America

2025-04-24T07:18:51+00:00June 19th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

As we look at legends like Betty White, Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, and Helen Mirren, we see men and women who have managed to age gracefully, staying healthy and limber. White passed away only a few weeks before her 100th birthday. In the past living to be one hundred (or even eighty) was a dream, but with the advances in science and knowledge regarding nutrition, more people are reaching closer to the centenarian age. You can make aging in America a smoother transition toward the 70s, 80s, 90s, and beyond with a few healthy habits. Make aging in America a healthy journey Genetics and environment play a massive role in aging. However, you can stack the odds in your favor for aging in America and living longer. The goal is not to just live longer, but to age gracefully, staying healthy and limber with as few age-related diseases and conditions as possible. This means avoiding substances or situations that can lead to long-term harm, such as overdrinking alcohol, abusing drugs, or engaging in risky behaviors. Carrollton Christian Counseling encourages making wise, faith-based lifestyle choices that support long-term well-being. The following are a few suggestions to get you started. Eat well. If you study centenarians (people who live to be between 100 and 109) and supercentenarians (age 110 and older), you may notice that these people are of average weight. To help control weight, avoid processed foods and aim for healthier fare, like lean proteins, fresh vegetables and fruits, and healthier fats such as olive oil. Contact a nutritionist for help in tweaking your daily diet. Walk. Walking is an excellent exercise that most people can do. It is low impact which allows you to increase the intensity as needed. Walking is inexpensive – all you need is a pair [...]

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