Individual Counseling

5 Everyday Habits That Cause Stress

2024-11-20T13:06:58+00:00November 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

People experience stress from many different sources, but it always has a physical effect. From migraines to stomach ulcers, stress could be affecting you in ways that you hadn’t even considered. 5 Habits that Cause Stress (and How to Break Them) Here are five everyday habits that could add stress to your life, and how to break them. 1. Holding in emotions Many people feel uncomfortable expressing their emotions at work and might even create a buffer at home to prevent their children from seeing too much of their struggles. This is perfectly understandable; however, it means that stress is locked up inside with no release. Imagine that your body is a bucket and stress is water being poured into it. At some point, you will be filled to the brim. To avoid overflowing or bursting your capacity, you need to find a way of venting. This could be texting a friend you can be honest with, taking five minutes in the bathroom to breathe, or taking the time to complete a few small tasks so that you can feel like you are in control of your schedule. 2. Refraining from bathroom visits We’ve all done it before, rather than break your concentration, you hold your bladder and continue working. Not only is this uncomfortable, but it is potentially dangerous. Just like with stress, what comes in must go out, or it will release toxins into your system. Make a habit of going to the bathroom when you need to. 3. Holding tension in your body There is a post circulating social media that reminds you to unclench your jaw, let your shoulders fall, and breathe out slowly. It’s amusing to follow the instructions and realize just how tense you were, even when you thought you were relaxing. This [...]

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Work Boundaries: The Value of Taking Breaks

2024-11-07T09:10:34+00:00November 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

You may have caught yourself doing it. You’re at a party or a gathering related to your kids like a sports event. You strike up a conversation with another person, and before you know it, you ask them what they do for a living, or they ask you about yourself and you start talking about your work. Sometimes it seems as though we can never get away from our work because we have no work boundaries. For many of us, our lives are defined by our work. Most of our waking hours are tied closely with work, whether that’s our morning commute to work, thinking about deadlines and meetings, gaining skills to make us better at our job, resolving a thorny interpersonal issue that’s arisen there, or thinking about getting a different job than the one we have. The Place of Work in Our Lives The work that we do provides us with many things. We can derive our sense of purpose, resources to support our family and pursue other passions, and a means of serving our community through our work. The work that takes up your day might not be remunerated with a salary, but that doesn’t diminish its significance or impact. Work can be deeply fulfilling even when it isn’t a career. Work has existed since the beginning of creation, and despite what the Monday blues tell you, work is fundamentally good. It existed in the garden before people rebelled against God and our work became a burdensome toil (Genesis 2:15; Genesis 3:17-19). Work still provides us with pleasure, especially if it is good work that’s done well, but it’s also true that most of us have a love-hate relationship with our work. One of the other things that’s happened with us and our work is [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

, 2024-11-13T11:06:17+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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A Few Healthy Ways of Dealing With Loneliness

, 2024-11-13T11:07:46+00:00November 4th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling|

God created us as social and relational creatures. We flourish when we are in healthy relationships with other people, and we can struggle if we find ourselves feeling isolated. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Solitude can be good for a person, but loneliness can lead to poor mental and cardiovascular health, among other negative outcomes. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), loneliness is cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving yourself to be alone. It can be an objective as well as a subjective state in which one feels emotional distress when their inherent needs for intimacy and companionship are not met. The key difference between being alone and being lonely is that, in loneliness, you want the company of others, but that need is not being met. Reasons why people feel lonely People’s lives and circumstances vary, and there are many different reasons why people feel lonely. Living by yourself If you prefer to live with others but live alone, that can lead to loneliness. The longing for companionship can be difficult when you come home to an empty apartment or house. Loss of loved ones The elderly struggle significantly with loneliness, as they may have lost many loved ones and no longer have people in their social support network. If your closest confidant has passed away, or if you’ve been through a divorce, you can find yourself feeling lonely and isolated. A new situation If you’ve just moved to a new city or country, chances are you haven’t built up a network of people to hang out with. Until you build up those networks, loneliness is a possibility. Lack of intimacy in current relationships You may be far away from people you would consider trusted confidants. Perhaps you have fought [...]

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How to Improve Communication in a Relationship: Fun Communication Games

2024-09-25T10:19:16+00:00August 29th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Experts frequently emphasize the importance of communication in relationships. Just because communication is a cornerstone of quality relationships doesn’t mean that it can be fun. Incorporating communication games into your routine can make the process of communication both enjoyable and effective. They can also help you improve your communication skills and enhance your relationships. Fun Communication Games Two truths and a lie: Couple’s version Share three statements about yourself – two of those statements being truthful and one being a lie. Then your partner must guess which statement is a lie. This game encourages sharing personal stories and helps you learn more about each other in a fun way. For new couples, this can be a great way to get to know each other and improve communication. If you have been with your partner for a while, consider making the statements more about how you feel or dreams you might have since they are likely to know a lot about your past. The question game Take turns asking each other intriguing or thought-provoking questions. These questions can range from “What is your favorite childhood memory?” to “If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?” The goal is to spark meaningful conversations and discover new things about each other. You can also learn more about your partner’s career or personal goals and priorities through this game. Compliment tag Just like in the traditional game of Tag, you and your partner will take turns tagging each other. But in this version of the game, you will be giving each other genuine compliments rather than a tag on the arm. This game will boost positivity and reinforce appreciation and affection in the relationship. The compliments can be general or specific. Mention how much you like their new [...]

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Male Postpartum Depression: Is It a Thing?

2024-09-25T08:33:56+00:00August 6th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Male postpartum depression is real. It is a form of depression characterized by significant mental and emotional distress that often goes unidentified because so many men are reluctant to talk about their feelings or reach out for help. The subject of dads’ mental health is always met with skepticism. You always get, ‘What about mom?’ in response. And moms’ mental health is important. But dads’ is, too. – Anthony J. Nedelman It has been estimated that approximately twenty-five percent of new dads experience mild symptoms of postpartum depression following the birth of a new baby, and 8 to 10 percent are diagnosed with it. This has been corroborated by a 2023 survey of fathers in the United States conducted by Verywell Mind and Parents that found that 9 percent of men experienced postpartum depression, and another 12 percent said both they and their spouses struggled with it. What does male postpartum depression look like? Symptoms of male postpartum depression can include anger, irritability, anxiety, sadness, intrusive thoughts of inadvertently harming the baby, loss of interest in hobbies or activities usually enjoyed, aloofness, violent or aggressive behavior, headaches, muscle pain, digestive problems, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, fatigue, indecisiveness, trouble concentrating or making decisions, emotional blunting, impulsivity, and/or feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt. Why do men get postpartum depression? Many potential risk factors can contribute to male postpartum depression. The most common ones include hormonal changes, pre-existing history of depression or anxiety, feeling disconnected and excluded as mom bonds with baby and focuses on meeting his or her needs, marital discord, sleep deprivation, financial stress, spouse with postpartum depression, and feeling overwhelmed by the added responsibilities of parenthood. How is it diagnosed? Most often, male postpartum depression is diagnosed through a clinical interview with a mental health professional. [...]

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5 Ways to Help Your Partner Overcome Compulsive Buying

2024-09-25T08:32:28+00:00July 19th, 2024|Coaching, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Popular media depicts many examples of compulsive shoppers; typically young, easygoing men and women obsessed with the latest clothes, jewelry, shoes, and bags. The sad truth is that compulsive buying is a disorder that can affect even the most unlikely people. You may even be surprised to discover that your partner is a compulsive shopper right under your nose. Unlike most addictions, compulsive buying may be easier to hide and easier to dismiss than other disorders. After all, the reason we fight to cure our loved ones from other addictions like drug, alcohol, sexual, or gambling addictions is that they openly hurt sufferers in obvious ways. Buying too much stuff doesn’t hurt anyone, does it? How compulsive buying can harm your relationship While it may be normal to give in to the occasional impulse to shop, it becomes a problem when some glaringly negative changes in someone’s spending habits appear. Just like any other addiction, compulsive shopping can become harmful, especially for relationships. Compulsive buying can be damaging if: It strains the family budget. It hinders paying bills on time. They open new credit accounts to allow for more shopping. They keep the excessive purchases secret. They prefer to shop over facing real emotions like anger, sadness, or loneliness. It alienates friends and family because they are preoccupied with shopping. Countless studies have noted that financial problems rank as one of the top causes of divorce, so it is important to help each other recognize this addiction in one of you before it destroys the fabric of your relationship. If you think your loved one is showing these telltale signs of compulsive buying or shopping addiction, you need to acknowledge it and start working toward getting them help. How to help your partner Give constant positive encouragement Point out [...]

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Effects of Trauma: Physiological, Physical, Psychological, Behavioral, and Emotional

2024-09-25T08:30:03+00:00June 26th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma comes in many forms. The effects of trauma can be a response to any number of experiences or events such as a natural disaster, being in a combat zone, physical abuse, rape, witnessing an act of violence, severe illness or injury, being involved in a car crash, bullying, or childhood abandonment or neglect. Each person’s reaction to trauma is unique. What may be traumatic for one person may not be for someone else. The federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) describes it as “an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that has lasting adverse effects.” Sometimes the effects of trauma are experienced immediately. Sometimes they may be delayed and not manifest until years later. Either way, even when you don’t consciously remember it, unresolved or improperly processed trauma can change the way you think, act, feel, and process information, and have a profound and lasting impact on your mental and emotional stability, self-image, and outlook of the future. An out-of-control response to trauma can negatively impact the quality of every area of your life, from work performance to relationships to your ability to perform daily tasks. Physiological effects of trauma When you experience a traumatic event, your body’s defense system kicks into action, triggering physiological responses that charge your brain and prepare you to react quickly to protect yourself from danger. As stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released into your system you are likely to also experience physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, heightened awareness, racing thoughts, cold hands, and quicker, shallower breathing. This fight or flight response to the perceived threat is an automatically generated survival mechanism over which you have no control. Ideally, [...]

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Self-Care Activities You Can Do Daily that Improve Your Mental Health

2024-10-30T09:08:32+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

The idea of self-care can often feel unattainable, especially during times of stress, busyness, or when we feel overwhelmed. While we recognize the benefits of self-care, taking time to do things for ourselves feels impossible. When life is busy or we feel burdened, we don’t feel like we can stop and go on vacation or go get a massage. While these self-care activities are good, they often become one more thing we can’t seem to do right. Instead of looking for self-care activities that take us out of our everyday lives, we can find things to incorporate into our lives that bring peace. They may not be things that change what is stressing us out. However, participating in attainable self-care activities can fortify our mental wellness so we can better navigate whatever season we are walking through in life. The key to making this work It’s not about finding the magic thing to do or the dream vacation to take. This is all about keeping things realistic and within reach. They need to be activities that you can incorporate into your life without becoming burdensome. If they are easy to incorporate, you are more likely to do them. Similarly, they need to be things that you enjoy. It’s great to read a list of ideas, but if none of them help you, they are useless. Sometimes it is helpful to try things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. This gives you the chance to discover new activities and their potential benefits in your life. Whatever you choose to do, try it a few times before deciding if it’s right for you. Sometimes you need to settle into how it works or how it makes you feel before deciding if it’s right for you. The great thing about these ideas is that [...]

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Could It Be ADHD? Identifying Symptoms of ADHD

2024-09-25T08:32:10+00:00May 22nd, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Imagine this scenario: You’re at your workplace, and your boss has just handed you a crucial project with a major client. You reassure yourself that you’ll focus and get the job done, but your mind keeps drifting. Maybe you find yourself gazing out the window, lost in thought. Or a random idea pops into your head, and you’re instantly immersed in a web search for answers. Perhaps every notification sound distracts you. These may be symptoms of ADHD. If you have been struggling with ADHD symptoms for years, you may find that they worsen as an adult. No longer can you blame your youth for your inability to wait your turn or keep still. You need to know how to recognize ADHD symptoms and how you can keep them from interfering with your life. ADHD is the acronym for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD symptoms typically appear during childhood. If left untreated, the child can experience ADHD symptoms as an adult, which will interfere with their relationships and work. Symptoms of ADHD Symptoms of ADHD can include hyperactivity, or they may not. Not everyone experiences that specific behavior. In the past, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and ADHD were considered two separate disorders, but since they can overlap, ADHD is the umbrella term used by most professionals. The following is a list of common ADHD symptoms. Constant movement (fidgeting) Constant movement, also known as fidgeting, is not necessarily wrong. Although it may distract others, fidgeting actually helps someone with ADHD to focus. The movement allows the mind to razor in on what someone is saying or on a project. Fidgeting has become so well accepted now that fidget toys are sold in stores and encouraged in classrooms. Interrupting others People living with ADHD may interrupt others. This behavior is not meant [...]

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