Individual Counseling Archives | Carrollton Christian Counseling

Perfectionism and the Fear of Failure

Perfectionism and the Fear of Failure

Caitlin Mallery2025-09-17T06:24:11+00:00September 17th, 2025|Anxiety, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

In a society that often equates success with flawlessness, it’s easy to develop a crippling fear of failure. However, failure is not the enemy; it’s a stepping-stone to success. Every successful person has experienced failure at some point in their life. However, it is easy for this to lead to perfectionism. Dealing with Perfectionism and the Fear of Failure People learn, grow, and ultimately achieve their goals through failure. Embracing failure as a natural part of the learning process allows us to take risks, push our boundaries, and ultimately reach our full potential. Embrace a beginner’s mindset It’s okay to be a beginner. Everyone starts somewhere. The most successful people are willing to learn, grow, and adapt. Embracing a beginner’s mindset allows us to approach new challenges with curiosity and openness rather than fear and anxiety. Remember, every expert was once a beginner. One of the attitudes that beginners often have is curiosity. They are open to new ideas and trying out different possibilities. A fixed mindset is unwilling to try other things, while a curious mindset is open to many options when learning. Embrace the journey The process of learning and growing is just as valuable, if not more so, than the result. You develop resilience, perseverance, and a strong work ethic through the process. Focusing solely on the end result can lead to disappointment and frustration, while appreciating the journey allows you to find joy and fulfillment in pursuing your goals. If you are looking at arrival as the point, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Embrace God’s perfect gifts Perfectionists can easily become trapped in a mindset that God wants them to be perfect. This can lead to a troubling view of God, one with high expectations. God meets all people where they are, and [...]

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Training and Development in the Workplace: Why it’s Worth the Effort

Training and Development in the Workplace: Why it’s Worth the Effort

Marcia Deah, Kate Motaung2025-08-20T08:30:45+00:00August 20th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

“‘Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, that’s life. Tryna make ends meet, you’re a slave to money, then you die.” – The Verve The lyrics from this song couldn’t have been more authentic. How bittersweet it is to spend more than half of your life working just to make sure you are able to live. My philosophy is, if you are required to work to live and more than half of your life is spent on work, why not enjoy what you do? In some cases, that might be fairly easy depending on your career path. In other cases, work is not the greatest, and it is just a means for survival. This is why you, as a supervisor, hold an important responsibility to create and maintain a healthy working environment for your employees. The less rewarding or more stressful a job is, the more difficult it can be to show up and/or be mentally present day after day. Job satisfaction is a hard task, and even harder when you are not considerate of your employees. In my experience, I have witnessed the difference it makes when an employee has a supervisor who invests in them versus a supervisor who does not put in that effort or just tolerates them. Statistics also support that one key factor in retention is employee recognition. The question is, as the employer, how can you make your workplace environment a place where an employee wants to stay? Inevitably, people will get promoted. Also, people will quit or get terminated. That is just a part of the territory. However, there are things you can do as an employer to improve retention. Pour resources into your employees. It is cheaper to train and develop the staff you have than to hire new people. The first people [...]

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Why We Indulge in Emotional Eating Even When We’re Happy

Why We Indulge in Emotional Eating Even When We’re Happy

Grace Mavindidze2025-08-19T07:59:53+00:00August 19th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It might come as a surprise, but emotional eating isn’t only tied to stress or sadness. There are times when life is great, and you’re celebrating something special, spending time with friends or family, or simply enjoying the moment, and often, food plays a big part. Food has a way of connecting us to our feelings, whether we’re feeling down or on top of the world. When we’re happy, we also unconsciously turn to food to make the good feelings last longer or to enjoy the moment even more. Many times, we’re left wondering why we ate so much, especially if it happens often enough to notice. So, why do we reach for food in an unhealthy way even when things are going well? Let’s look at the connection between happiness and emotional eating, how it sneaks up on us, and what we can do to keep things in balance while still enjoying life’s happy moments. Why Emotional Eating Isn’t Good, Even When We’re Happy Emotional eating tied to happiness might not seem harmful, but it’s still possible for it to cause serious problems if we’re not careful. Eating because we’re feeling good does lead to overeating sometimes, especially when we focus on keeping the joy going instead of listening to our hunger. Also, the foods we enjoy more in these emotional moments, like sugary treats or fatty snacks, if eaten excessively, contribute to weight gain or other health concerns. Relying on food in an unhealthy way when we’re happy has a way of distracting us from enjoying other ways of celebrating. Of course, eating in happy moments isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s important to find balance so that it doesn’t become a habit that replaces other rewarding experiences. Positive emotions disrupt our eating habits without us even realizing it [...]

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Signs of Social Anxiety to Look Out for in a Loved One

Signs of Social Anxiety to Look Out for in a Loved One

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-08-14T06:55:17+00:00August 14th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

More than anything, we want our loved ones to be happy. As well-placed as this intention can be, one challenge that can come up is that our definition of “happiness” and our loved one’s definition of happiness might not always align perfectly. This can be a source of conflict as two people who love each other try to navigate life together. Knowing your loved one’s struggles can put you in a position where you can stand in the gap for them, supporting them as they need it. With social anxiety, it’s important to know the signs of it, as well as how best to support your loved one if they are socially anxious. Just as there are helpful ways to be present and supportive, there are also unhelpful ones, and knowing the difference matters. The Signs of Social Anxiety People have feelings of anxiety in a variety of circumstances. Some people thrive in a setting with lots of people, engaging in conversation with strangers, or talking through ideas in a public forum like a meeting or classroom. For other people, these things are dreadful, in the literal sense. It takes enormous amounts of energy to be in those kinds of spaces, and once there, it’s a matter of hanging on until it’s all over. A person’s anxiety in social settings can become so severe that it begins to interfere with their daily functioning. At that point, it could be diagnosed as a social anxiety disorder by a mental health professional. Social anxiety disorder can make life – whether that’s hanging out with loved ones, going to work, doing your grocery shopping, or going to the doctor – hard. Anxiety has tell-tale signs, as it affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally. If your loved one has social anxiety, you may [...]

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When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-07-23T06:18:26+00:00July 23rd, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are important. They are part of God’s plan. He made us social creatures. In Genesis, we find that God didn’t want Adam to be alone, so He created Eve. The Bible is full of stories of how God has provided people to do his work and to love His followers. So, when you long for relationships, it’s not unusual – it’s part of God’s plan. But if you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADHD), you may be struggling in your relationships. It’s one thing to desire deep, meaningful, and mutually beneficial relationships, and it’s a whole other thing to make and preserve them. ADHD Relationship Obstacles If you have ADHD, you’re probably already familiar with some of the obstacles that this disorder presents when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You’re probably acutely aware of the fact that you interrupt people when they’re talking or that you have a hard time focusing on a conversation. You probably cringe when you think about the time that you were pacing the floor acting disinterested in a conversation. But your mind and your body often follow the directions of ADHD rather than social norms. A romantic relationship adds a whole other layer of confusion and misunderstanding. You might be in a fully committed, loving relationship, ready to make a life together, but if your partner doesn’t understand your ADHD, you might not be perceiving the relationship in the same way. When you forget something they just said or lose track of the task that you promised to handle, it can feel to them like you’re careless or indifferent or even worse, that you simply don’t prioritize them or their needs. If they don’t understand that your brain works just a little differently, they may interpret your actions as lazy, [...]

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7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-07-07T04:04:55+00:00July 7th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

If you have felt out of sorts lately, it may have to do with your self-esteem. Factors such as bullying, abuse, trauma, negative self-talk, neglect, or prejudice can contribute to low self-esteem. Building self-esteem is critical for your emotional and mental well-being. Why Building Self-Esteem is Critical Although several factors can lead to low self-esteem, knowing who you are and how valuable you are to yourself, your loved ones, your community, and God is the basis of a healthy mental state. When you value yourself and perceive your worth, you build emotional resilience and do not feel as pressured by societal ideals. If your self-esteem is low, then you might: Compromise on your values. Stay in a toxic relationship. Compare yourself to others. Make rash decisions or struggle to make commitments. Never take risks. Struggle with body image, depression, and anxiety. Struggle to achieve goals. Let yourself go, including personal hygiene and health. Building self-esteem will positively affect your physical, emotional, and mental health. As you realize that you were made in the image and likeness of God, the belief that you are a co-heir to Christ’s kingdom and a son or daughter of the King, your confidence will soar. What if low self-esteem were no longer a barrier, and you knew in your heart that opportunities were available to you and doors were open that no man could shut if it were God’s will? Start by building self-esteem and shifting your mindset and beliefs. Ideas for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem takes practice. You may need to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations, mantras, and beliefs. You will need to challenge your own thoughts and limiting beliefs. Your behavior will need to change to reflect confidence by adopting new actions. Although not mentioned in the list below, reading and [...]

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Using Meditation for Anxiety to Stay Calm in Unexpected Situations

Using Meditation for Anxiety to Stay Calm in Unexpected Situations

Grace Mavindidze2025-06-28T08:17:48+00:00June 30th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Life always seems to throw curveballs when we least expect them. Sometimes it’s just a last-minute change in plans, an urgent issue at work, or an uncomfortable social encounter that leaves you feeling rattled. Learning meditation for anxiety can help. We’re here today to talk about one simple but useful mental health life hack called “meditation for anxiety” that you can use no matter where you are to help you stay calm and grounded when things feel out of control. By making meditation a part of your daily life, you will build up the strength and will you need to face whatever comes your way. Why Learning Meditation for Anxiety in Public Spaces Matters Anxiety doesn’t give us a warning before it shows up. Sometimes, it appears out of nowhere, catching us off guard. You could be at a party when someone brings up a topic that you just aren’t prepared to handle, and it triggers feelings of anxiety. Stressful moments can happen anywhere: while standing in line, sitting in a cafe, or even in the middle of a busy street. It’s in these surprise moments that having some trick to help you stay grounded, like meditation, becomes so valuable. When anxiety arises, you need to have something you know you can do right away to calm yourself. You don’t always have the luxury of going somewhere quiet to meditate. Meditation doesn’t require special equipment or a quiet room; it’s something you can do with just your breath and your mind, no matter where you are. Plus, it’s a great way to build mental strength. The more you meditate in public, the more you learn to handle anxiety in real-time. Meditating in any space also helps you stay present. Instead of getting lost in your anxious thoughts, focusing on [...]

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Signs That You Need Help for Alcohol Dependence

Signs That You Need Help for Alcohol Dependence

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-06-20T07:00:08+00:00June 20th, 2025|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. In one person’s experience, it may be related to happy and enjoyable memories, while for another, it’s associated with dark and painful ones. Each person must navigate how they will deal with alcohol, and it helps to be informed about some of the ways it can negatively affect someone. Various substances, such as prescription and recreational drugs, affect the brain. Likewise, alcohol can produce pleasurable feelings and also blunt negative ones. It has a powerful effect on the brain, which can make it appealing. This temporary relief can motivate someone to turn to alcohol again and again, even when it poses possible significant risks to their health and overall well-being. You can become dependent on alcohol even without recognizing it. What is alcohol dependence? When you depend on something, it means that it plays a significant role in your life. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may feel as though they cannot function without consuming alcohol. Alcohol assumes an important role in their life, and often, they have to drink more and more of it in order to obtain the same effect as before. Alcohol becomes a priority, superseding other activities or obligations. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may not only prioritize alcohol over other things like family or work, but they may continue to consume alcohol even when it becomes destructive. Even if they’ve begun experiencing the harmful consequences of drinking, such as getting a DUI, losing their job, being diagnosed with liver disease, or other mental health challenges, they will continue to drink. Alcohol dependence is marked by the impaired ability to stop or control one’s intake and use of alcohol. Alcohol dependence is one of a cluster of terms that are often used [...]

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The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-06-12T10:10:02+00:00June 12th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Emotions are a big part of how you experience your life. They shape the way you see the world, make decisions, and react to the ups and downs of life. But what can happen is that emotions take charge and trick you into thinking things that aren’t true. If you let them, they can twist your thoughts, making situations seem worse than they are. This is called distorted thinking, and it probably happens to you more than you’d think. Distorted emotions are like a filter, and through it, everything seems darker and more difficult than it really is. You can have a small argument with a friend, and then an emotional response will make you think, “They don’t care about me,” even when there’s no proof. These kinds of thoughts feel real at the moment, but they’re not the truth; they’re just emotions blurring reality. With some awareness of how your brain may conjure up this wrong way of thinking, it’s possible to spot these patterns, and then you can change them. Why do you have emotions? Emotions come from a part of your brain called the amygdala. It’s the one that helps you respond to things around you. These emotional responses are part of what keeps you safe and balanced. The amygdala normally processes feelings like fear and anger, where chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin create sensations of either happiness or sadness. These emotions are the brain’s way of helping us respond quickly to the world around us. This is the way your brain knows, for example, that fear signals danger, and joy means something good is around. Through it all, the brain is supposed to remain in charge of your thoughts by rationalizing and balancing your reactions with what is real. Everyone experiences emotional highs and [...]

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Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them

Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-06-05T07:04:22+00:00June 5th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Having ADHD is a mixed bag of fun and frustration. so many things are just different about us compared to neurotypical folks, that it’s sometimes hard to keep track of. It is important for us to feel seen and understood because, although we might be different, there is nothing inherently wrong with us. As with everyone, regardless of their neurotype, sometimes we need to understand why we are doing certain things so that we can better adapt or tweak our actions, for the good of everyone. Let’s explore some of the most common ADHD quirks and consider how to manage them. Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them Most of us have poor bladder control When we get locked into a hyperfocus mode, there is little that can stop us or distract us, even a full bladder. Unfortunately, holding urine does not strengthen the bladder but weakens it over time. It might take a lot of practice, but we simply need to lean into our natural affinity for multitasking and go to the bathroom while we are doing whatever fun task we are absorbed in. We tend to adopt accents Those with ADHD often become fascinated by ordinary things, and a foreign accent can be captivating. We tend to imitate accents without even realizing it, and sometimes this comes across as rude or fake, although for us it is harmless and unintentional. If we find ourselves in a conversation with someone who has an interesting accent, it might be helpful to warn them that we tend to mimic accents. It may not be a big deal, but it also might be best to warn others before it slips out. Alternatively, we can be self-aware and try to intentionally stop ourselves from mimicking. We suffer from FOMO There is [...]

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