Individual Counseling

If you have ever seen a good communicator in the flow of expressing themselves, it can be both an inspiring and discouraging thing to witness. Some people seem to be able to express themselves naturally and effortlessly, while others have a host of issues to overcome. The encouraging news is that learning to communicate better is entirely possible; the first step is learning about the barriers that block effective communication. How to Communicate Better by Overcoming Assumptions Words are a small part of communication. People communicate with their personalities, their bodies, and even through silence. We take in and respond to large amounts of information daily without fully realizing that we are wordlessly communicating with those around us. For example, when a coworker who is normally chatty and vibrant comes into work and they are quiet, withdrawn, and disheveled in appearance, they are communicating something without even speaking. We might subconsciously take note of their behavior, body language, and appearance and deduce that they are struggling today. They have communicated something to us. How we treat them in response is us communicating back to them. We might be gracious to them, give them space by not engaging in small talk, or we might take the opportunity to ask them how they are. If we were to observe the changes in them and decide on the reasons for those changes, we would be assuming. It might be a correct assumption, but without asking them simple, non-invasive questions, we won’t know for sure what is going on. Assumptions might be correct, but by leaning on assumptions, we risk being incorrect. There remains a barrier between us and the person we’ve assumed about. Correct assumptions are just as unhelpful as incorrect assumptions, in some ways. Making assumptions means that there is a [...]

You may have caught yourself doing it. You’re at a party or a gathering related to your kids like a sports event. You strike up a conversation with another person, and before you know it, you ask them what they do for a living, or they ask you about yourself and you start talking about your work. Sometimes it seems as though we can never get away from our work because we have no work boundaries. For many of us, our lives are defined by our work. Most of our waking hours are tied closely with work, whether that’s our morning commute to work, thinking about deadlines and meetings, gaining skills to make us better at our job, resolving a thorny interpersonal issue that’s arisen there, or thinking about getting a different job than the one we have. The Place of Work in Our Lives The work that we do provides us with many things. We can derive our sense of purpose, resources to support our family and pursue other passions, and a means of serving our community through our work. The work that takes up your day might not be remunerated with a salary, but that doesn’t diminish its significance or impact. Work can be deeply fulfilling even when it isn’t a career. Work has existed since the beginning of creation, and despite what the Monday blues tell you, work is fundamentally good. It existed in the garden before people rebelled against God and our work became a burdensome toil (Genesis 2:15; Genesis 3:17-19). Work still provides us with pleasure, especially if it is good work that’s done well, but it’s also true that most of us have a love-hate relationship with our work. One of the other things that’s happened with us and our work is [...]