Individual Counseling

When someone leaves you for someone or something else the pain of rejection can be terrifying. It can feel like you have to live with the awareness that you have been replaced in addition to the loss, hurt, and emptiness you are experiencing. The message in your mind screams: You are no longer good enough. There is someone better. The initial weeks after someone’s departure can be incredibly difficult. In response, people stop eating, stop sleeping, cry, withdraw, and generally feel as if everything is falling apart. Sometimes things feel removed, out of this world, like a character in a play. Disbelief and denial are present. Frequently, one of the hardest things is going to sleep. Agonizing sorrow crosses the mind. The ideas don’t stop. When sleep does come, it often comes in fits. The morning after awakening is no better. The suffering begins all over again with each new day. Rejection. Pushing someone or anything away is a definition of rejection. Rejection from one’s birth family, a friend, or a romantic partner can happen, and the ensuing emotions are frequently traumatic. In daily life, it can be felt in significant or minor ways. Even while rejection is frequently a part of life, some kinds of rejection might be harder to handle than others. The rejection of a spouse, for example, is especially difficult because of the intimacy of the marriage relationship. Even a strained marriage is founded on intimacy. Rejection from a parent is particularly difficult as well since this is a formative relationship in a child’s life. Being aware of rejection. There are several situations where rejection can happen, but it typically refers to a situation in which someone or something is pushed aside or out. For instance, someone might reject or refuse to accept a present. [...]

Romantic relationships might very well be one of life’s greatest paradoxes; on one hand, you can be taken to the lofty and dizzying heights of love, or you may be left with a sour and bitter taste in your mouth from a toxic relationship, wondering what you ever saw in your partner in the first place. Because relationships are made up of two sinful people, they are by their very nature difficult. People come from different backgrounds with different family dynamics, values, and beliefs which in turn shape their general worldview. What this means is that no matter how much a couple may like or love each other, differences will arise at some point even in the most solid of relationships. Some differences may be small and insignificant while some may be big enough to rock the couple’s boat and be defined as toxic. The Oxford dictionary defines the word toxic as something which is “very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.” A toxic relationship can therefore be best understood by looking at some of the elements that typically characterize such relationships and whose common traits are psychological or physical damage to either or both parties to that relationship. Toxicity in relationships can stem from divergent factual points which makes it difficult for anyone who tries to list exhaustively all the behaviors that can be described as toxic in a relationship. Whether or not a relationship will thrive is therefore often determined by the couple’s ability to compromise and adopt healthy conflict resolution strategies. An important question that arises then would be; if conflicts are a normal component of relationships where then, does one draw the line between healthy disagreements and a toxic relationship? Can toxic relationships be salvaged; can one simply leave a toxic relationship [...]