Relationship Issues Archives | Carrollton Christian Counseling

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-05-22T07:08:50+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are a part of life, but why? If we have learned anything during the pandemic, it has been that although isolation is necessary for particular seasons of our lives, we thrive when we are part of a social circle. This circle can include your spouse, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, or the friendly mail delivery carrier. You choose the people and how much access they have to your life. Knowing the five relationship types and how you can strengthen those bonds can serve you well in every area of life. Why Relationships are Necessary Positive relationships are necessary for the formation of social skills and happiness. Different types of relationships fulfill various needs throughout life and can result in better emotional and mental health. Not feeling alone, even when you are struggling, is crucial to avoiding specific mental condition symptoms such as depression. Relationships, even the hard and toxic ones, help build emotional resilience. Resiliency will help you overcome challenges throughout life and move forward instead of staying “stuck,” reliving hurt, disappointment, or trauma. Relationships provide a support system and other people to share your burdens. When going through something challenging, you want people who love and care about you to help stand in the gap. Relationships allow you to support others and be a blessing when they need it. As relationships form early, those bonds may shape the person you become. But remember, even if your relationships throughout childhood were tumultuous, you have the resources to lead a different life. You can choose to surround yourself with people who can push you to learn more, think differently, and act appropriately. The relationships you choose later in life can either bless you or harm you. Not every relationship needs to be a close, intimate one to benefit you. Building [...]

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Avoidance Anxiety and How It Affects Relationships

Avoidance Anxiety and How It Affects Relationships

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-05-09T07:01:47+00:00May 9th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There’s something about unpleasant experiences that just shouts, “Don’t do this again!”. We instinctively tend to avoid unsavory things to save ourselves time and effort and to preserve our peace of mind. For example, if you have a bad experience at an eating establishment, you’re unlikely to patronize it again. It can be scary getting into a car again after an accident or it may feel uncomfortable walking where you were mugged. We tend to avoid the unpleasant, or what reminds us of unpleasant experiences. This can be advantageous, for the reasons already mentioned. However, it can also have a downside. There are situations in which it is necessary to face unpleasant things for another, bigger purpose. You may not enjoy public speaking, for example, but it enables you to effectively communicate your ideas to more people. In key instances in life, it may be necessary to face the things that make you anxious or that you ordinarily try to avoid. Understanding avoidance anxiety and its impact on your life can help you take steps to deal with this anxiety and reclaim your freedom and ability to enter diverse situations unhindered by fear. Avoidance Anxiety Unpacked We all have moments or situations that make us anxious. Perhaps it is dinner with your family, talking or eating in public, going to a social event, a first date or job interview, driving, addressing conflict, or any number of other circumstances. When you feel anxious, your body reacts by activating your fight-flight-freeze response. This is one of the ways your body prepares you to act in ways that protect you and your well-being. Anxiety doesn’t feel pleasant. It includes signs such as a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, racing thoughts and restlessness, and even feelings of dread. When you’re anxious, it can feel [...]

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Different Attachment Styles and How They Impact Your Relationships

Different Attachment Styles and How They Impact Your Relationships

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-25T12:08:17+00:00April 25th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the great things about good stories is how they can surprise you. You may have thought that a story was going to go one way, and then things take a surprising turn into new territory, sweeping you along with it. Our lives are often like that – where your story is now and has been in the past doesn’t mean there aren’t still surprises ahead. It means that when all is said and done, our story may look vastly different than it does now. This can be incredible news, especially if your story up till now isn’t what you want or wanted for yourself. If you’re struggling in your relationships with others and find yourself falling into the same unhealthy patterns of relating to them, that doesn’t have to be a permanent situation. By learning your own patterns, where they come from, and how they affect you, you can begin growing and developing new ways of doing things. Attachment Styles – What Are Those? You may or may not have encountered the term ‘attachment style’ before. It refers to how we form and maintain our relationships with other people. Each person has a distinct and predominant style regarding how they relate to others. That’s one reason you can often see patterns across different relationships – one of the common denominators in those scenarios is you and how you do things. A person’s attachment style is usually based on or develops according to the pattern of our earliest interactions with the people in our lives. These people include parents or caregivers, who have the most to do with a child and their well-being in their early years. How you and your caregiver interact can influence you immensely because that is where you first learn how things work, and that’s [...]

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What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-17T11:26:37+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable if they somehow do something to help that person “change” their behavior or that uncomfortable anger or sadness. In looking into a codependent [...]

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Advice for Newlyweds in Carrollton: Embrace Independence

Advice for Newlyweds in Carrollton: Embrace Independence

Stephanie Kramer2025-03-26T10:13:26+00:00March 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Looking for advice for newlyweds in Carrollton, Texas? This may seem counterintuitive, but it works. If marriage is all about unity and becoming one with your partner, why would any sensible therapist tell you to embrace independence? While being a Christian couple in Carrollton means unifying and becoming one in Christ through marriage, it does not mean you should completely abandon the unique individual God made you to be. It’s important to create personal space and maintain a degree of separation from your partner. In the Bible, the concept of a married couple becoming “one” is introduced in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This phrase is significant and is echoed throughout Scripture including in the New Testament by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and by Paul in Ephesians 5:31. The most immediate and literal meaning is the physical and sexual union between husband and wife. In marriage, couples join together in an intimate relationship that is both exclusive and binding. But beyond the physical aspect, becoming “one flesh” also signifies emotional and spiritual unity. Marriage is intended to be a deep and loving relationship where individuals support and understand each other on a profound level. Furthermore, in becoming “one flesh” the couple develops a shared identity and purpose. They are no longer two separate individuals but are united in their common goals, values, and direction in life. This unity does not erase individuality but rather complements and enhances it. In Ephesians 5:31-32, Paul draws a parallel between the union of husband and wife and the relationship between Christ and the Church. The marital relationship is intended to reflect the sacrificial love, unity, and commitment that Christ has for His Church. As Christians, [...]

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5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-10T04:45:12+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space boundary. Give yourself some physical distance between yourself and the person who has caused you trauma. [...]

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How to Find Support and Healing After Infidelity

How to Find Support and Healing After Infidelity

Cyndi Kay Green2025-02-04T06:21:33+00:00February 4th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity in a relationship can be a challenge to recover from. A person can be unsure about pursuing forgiveness and restoring the marriage to what it once was. The discovery of infidelity not only feels as though life has imploded, but it can also feel as though the entire marriage has been a farce, making healing after infidelity difficult. Healing after infidelity begins with the most challenging part: forgiveness. Until a person finds a way to let go of the bitterness, there will be no peace in any of the decisions that are made. Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22, ESV There are many ways to pursue healing after infidelity. This pursuit begins with making an intentional choice to heal regardless of what may seem to be ruined. Just as with any other process, it is important to recognize what the goal is and to get clarity about that goal. These four important questions may help you take the first step in healing after infidelity. Can you forgive your partner? Can you become committed and trust your partner again? Have you released the anger toward your partner? Can you move forward? After asking yourself these questions, it is time to begin taking steps to heal. Recovering the Relationship Each relationship is different and special. It revolves around the people involved, and it is specific to how they relate to each other. This means that recovery after infidelity is different for each couple. While it may look different, there are phases that relationships typically experience as they engage in the healing after [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-01-07T03:58:54+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just needs to push through this and get to the other side. Depression requires treatment, and it does not [...]

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Cultivating Healthy Expectations In A Relationship

Cultivating Healthy Expectations In A Relationship

Jennifer Kooshian2025-02-20T18:02:16+00:00December 26th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article It’s been said that if you aim for nothing, you’re likely to hit it. If you have no goals, and if you hold no expectations, that might mean that you won’t be disappointed, but it might also mean that what you get won’t be good, either. Having expectations of a given situation can be a dangerous exercise because of the possibility of disappointment and frustration, but without them, it’s also possible to wind up being taken advantage of. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, an expectation is the feeling or belief that something will or should happen. In a relationship, your expectations are typically about the behaviors and attitudes that you believe or feel your partner should have toward you. It’s about how you would want to be treated, and how you want to treat the other person. Do Relationships Need Expectations? Whether we like it or not, we come into every situation with some kind of expectation about how we will be, and how we would like others to be toward us. Those expectations may be low, and they may be either healthy or unhealthy, but they are there. Often, one way to know if you had expectations of some kind in a situation is by noticing if you feel disappointed when something happens or fails to happen. A healthy relationship needs healthy expectations because every relationship carries expectations of some kind. Even a parent-child relationship, in which a parent unconditionally loves their child carries certain expectations. For instance, a parent who loves their child unconditionally can and should expect to be shown respect and kindness by their child. Having expectations in a relationship helps you set a standard for how you want to be treated in that relationship, as well as letting [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Mccartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:06:17+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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